A customer was really hassling an airline agent at the ticket counteróyelling and using foul language. However, the agent was polite, pleasant and smiled while the customer continued to abuse her. When the man finally left, the next person in line said to the agent, "Does that happen often? I canít believe how nice you were to him."
The agent smiled and said, "No problem, I took care of it. Heís going to Detroit. His bags are going to Bangkok."
Some of the most tactful people on earth are the English. One office supervisor called a secretary in to give her the bad news that she was being fired.
He started the conversation with: "Miss Symthe, I really donít know how we are going to get along without you, but starting Monday, weíre going to try."
The new salesman had just completed his training and was anxious to put his skills to work. He took his Hoover vacuum cleaner to the front door of a house and rang the bell. A rather unpleasant woman answered. Before she could say anything he threw a pile of cow patties in the door behind her onto the rug. "Lady," he said, "If this vacuum cleaner doesnít clean up all those cow patties, Iíll eat them myself."
"Iíll get you a spoon," scowled the lady. "Our electricity hasnít been turned on, yet."
A man went to the local motor-vehicle office to get his driverís licence renewed. He found that there was huge line for the purpose. The line inched along for almost an hour until his turn came to get his licence renewed. He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, "I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture."
The clerk looked at his picture closely. "Itís okay," he reassured the man: "Thatís how youíre going to look when the cops pull you over anyway."
In a nursery school the fire-fighting department was giving lessons to the kids to detect fire in the house and the tips for the safety. This particular morning, the visual aid for the lesson was a smoke detector. The fireman asked the children if anyone knew what it meant when an alarm sounded from the smoke detector.
One little child immediately raised his hand and said, "It means daddyís cooking the dinner."
One of the highlights of the freshman university biology class was the monthly feeding of a caged rattlesnake kept in the laboratory. One time, the entire class gathered around the cage and, in complete silence, watched as the feeding took place.
"Iím jealous of the snake," the instructor said. "I never get the classís undivided attention like this."
A student answered matter-of-factly, "You would if you could swallow a mouse."
Instructor: "Isnít it remarkable how quickly the kids learn to drive the car?"
Parent: "Yes, especially considering how slowly they catch on to running the lawnmower and vacuum cleaner."