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Not wholly unexpected, it is I, me, myself all the way through 282 pages of delightfully elegant prose. It removes the dust off many prevalent myths about the actor’s distinguished though not controversial career beginning with how exactly he came in touch with Devika Rani and how Bombay Talkies "was the best thing that happened to me at that juncture in my life." His early involvement with Kamini Kaushal: not entirely sure, in retrospect, "if that was love." His infamous affair with "vivacious artiste" Madhubala and the actual reasons behind the break realising "it was all very well to be working together as artistes but in marriage it is important for a woman to be ready to give more than receive."
The caravan of memories unlocks a series of truths, half-truths, and newer revelations: "I have never ever seen myself as anyone but an industrious actor who made it to the top by dint of hard work and some luck" by being his own rather than the director’s actor; "every role I played (and he reworked every script regardless of who the director had been) had its distinct merits and provocations`85 "an actor should not imitate or copy another actor if he can help because the actor who impresses you has consciously and even painstakingly moulded an overt personality and laid down his own ground rules to bring that personality effectively on the screen." One could go on nauseum. Of the remaining 137 pages 100-odd are devoted to "Reminiscences", obviously official author Udayatara Nayar’s handiwork that includes Amitabh Bachchan, Shabana Azmi, Yash Chopra, Dharmendra, Subhash Ghai, Kamal Haasan, Anil and Rishi Kapoor, Aamir Khan, Manoj Kumar, Hema Malini, Lata Mangeshkar, Waheeda Rehman, Ramesh Sippy, Sharmila Tagore, Vyjanthimala, amongst others. Totally unnecessary and uncalled for in a book otherwise described as an autobiography of someone who is still alive. And if he is truly in command of his senses, as is claimed to be, he himself would have been the best person to fill in further blanks and complete his life story, rather than leaving it midway.
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Shadow & substance
Despite claims
otherwise, Dilip Kumar comes through the narrative as a conservative,
narrow-minded, self-centred Muslim (not as the large-hearted Pathan as
he claims to be), with five jobless brothers and four of the six
unmarried sisters disowning the beautiful bright star of the family,
Akhtar because she married the already twice-married K Asif, reducing
his own existence in his rented 48 Pali Mala bungalow to the outhouse.
And confiding in Saira the need to live separately because "even
if I bring a celestial angel from the seventh heaven, my family will
not be able to accept her" and that "it would be difficult,
if not impossible, for them to easily reconcile to a new persona in my
life, as also for her to live together with the family without any
problems arising between them." He dismisses all the prevalent
stories about Saira’s involvement with other costars as
"fanciful accounts circulating since the day the news made
headlines," as nonchalantly as he describes marriage to Asma as a
trap. For reasons unexplained, his best friend in the industry, music
director Naushad "did not attend our nikah." And for
the knowledgeable in the industry there could be nothing more untrue
than "Raj was as close to me as any of my brothers,"
recounting even though the former’s son Rishi Kapoor corroborates
recalling his childhood years. The same holds true for the claim that
Saira was the first choice for Guide.