One Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present. The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach. The cowboy said, "I'm not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I'd feed him." So the minister began his sermon. One hour passed, then two hours, then two-and-a-half hours.
The preacher finally finished and came down to ask the cowboy how he had liked the sermon. The cowboy answered slowly, "Well, I'm not very smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I sure wouldn't feed him all the hay."
Taken for a ride
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car. Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.
"What's in the bag?" asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband."
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said, "Good trade."
Delivery on time
A friend was thinking about buying a new house in the country and asked me to come out and look at it.
We found the town, but we couldn't locate the road. We drove over to the city hall, where a community get-together was going on.
We asked around, but no one had heard of the road. Even the policemen and fire personnel were stumped.
We went inside the city hall and consulted a map, with no luck, until finally one young man came to our aid. He pointed to the map, showing us exactly how to get there.
I thanked the young man and asked if he was with the police or fire department.
"Neither," he replied. "I deliver pizzas."
A big four-engine plane was carrying passengers from the US to France. Suddenly the pilot announced, "Attention, passengers.
One of our engines has broken down. Don't worry, we can still go on with three, but there will be a two-hour delay." About half an hour later, the pilot comes to announce, "Attention, it seems we have lost another engine.
Don't worry, we can go on with two, but there will be a four-hour delay."
A little while later, the pilot makes another announcement that a third engine has gone, and there will be a six-hour delay.
At this point, one blonde passengers muttered, "If that fourth engine goes out too, we'll be up here all the day."