The patient was adamant, "I got to see the doctor right away!" When he finally stood before the good doctor in the examination room, he spluttered, "Doc, I got to have a kidney transplant, a liver transplant, a heart transplant, a cornea transplant, a lung trans...."
"Wait just a minute" interrupted the doctor. "Just tell me why you think you need all these transplants when you appear to be in good health?"
"Okay doc," the man slowed down briefly, "my boss said if I wanted to keep my job, I needed to get reorganised."
Round the clock
A man, who urgently needed to get his clothes cleaned up, searched this small Georgia town until he found a sign which read: "Cleaning and Pressing, 24-Hour Service."
After explaining his needs, he said, "Iíll be back for my suit tomorrow."
"Wonít be ready till Saturday," replied the proprietor.
"But I thought you had 24-hour service," the customer protested.
"We do, sir," the proprietor said reproachfully. "But we only work eight hours a day. Todayís Thursday ó eight hours today, eight hours Friday, eight on Saturday. Thatís 24-hour service."
Fact of the matter
A couple had a happy and successful marriage. The husband was once asked to what he attributed this remarkable situation. "Itís simple," he said. "division of labour. My wife makes all the small, routine decisions. She decides what house we buy, where we go on A vacation, whether the kids go to a private or government school, if I should change my job, and so on."
"I make the big, fundamental decisions. I decide if the United States should declare war on China, if Congress should appropriate money for a manned expedition to Mars, and so on."
The doctor handed his overweight patient a bottle of pills.
"There are one hundred pills in this bottle, but donít swallow these pills," he said.
The doctor further instructed, "Instead, spill them on the floor three times a day and pick them up one by one. You will lose weight in no time"
Best of the lot
Three people, a doctor, an engineer and a politician were arguing over whose contribution to humankind was greatest. The doctor said, "The Lord created Eve from Adam; it was a surgical procedure, therefore we doctors were there from the creation!"
"No way," the engineer interrupted. "Go back a step: The Lord created the universe from chaos. That was the greatest engineering feat in history! My profession was the one that was there at the beginning!"
"Fair enough," the politician piped in. "But who do you think created all that chaos in the first place?"