A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, "Boys, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face." "Yes, sir," the boys said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run
into my feet?" A little boy shouted, "'Because your feet ain't empty sir."
A paediatrician in town always plays a game with some of his young patients to put them at ease and test their knowledge of body parts.
One day, while pointing to a little boy's ear, the doctor asked him, "Is this your nose?"
Immediately the little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mom, I think we'd better find a new doctor!"
A couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.
"Look!" she said. "I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in four seconds or less. And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me."
So, for her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.
At snailís pace
A US postal service mail carrier was making his rounds. He had a special-delivery package that had to be delivered in person, so he went up to the door. A woman answered, signed for the package, and took it. The mail carrier spotted a snail on the ground near him. He stomped on the snail, yelling, "Die, you little sucker, die! and ground the snail with his heel.
The woman asked, "Why did you just kill that snail?"
The mail carrier replied, "That little bastard has been following me around all day!"
You have got mail!
I had just moved into a new apartment and was having problems with the mailman, who was delivering the previous tenant's mail to
my address. Hoping to resolve the situation, I wrote my name in a bigger font on the mailbox, but he still kept giving me the wrong letters. Finally, I left a note saying that he was delivering the mail incorrectly. The next day I went to the box to find this addition to my message: "Sir, I am delivering the mail correctly. You're just living at the wrong address."
Between mother and daughter
A man was standing first in line for tickets from those who had cancelled their reservations to a sold-out play.
The manager said he had two together, and pointed to the two women behind the man. "You wouldn't want to come between mother and daughter, would you?"
The man turned around, and replied, "No. I did that once, and regretted it right until the divorce."