Brown bread and liberty of J-K leaders

Keki Daruwalla
Poet and Novelist

Little Tommy Tucker,
He sings for his supper.
What shall he eat?
White bread and butter.

Well, from all accounts, the Kashmiri political leaders in indefinite detention are better off. Listen to what the honourable Dr Jitendra Singh, Union Minister of State in the PMO, no less, stated on September 22 in Jammu on Maharaja Hari Singh’s birth anniversary. He stated that these leaders (detained Kashmiri leaders) asked for brown bread at breakfast and they got it. (Incidentally, some of what passes off for brown bread is actually ‘caramelised’, meaning the dough has been mixed with burnt sugar, but we will let that pass.) They asked 

for gymnasium facilities, and they were provided. The honourable minister added that they were put up in ‘five-star’ guesthouses.

That was not all. There was no end to their demands. They asked for Hollywood film CDs! They didn’t want any of the Khans, no Priyanka, no Padukone! Now, I am no film buff — the last two movies I have seen are Jolly LLB and Dangal. Sorry, also an Indian copy of the Italian Job where I remember the Bipasha Basu number in front of a villain, a foreigner (villains have to be foreign. We desi vegetarians are a decent lot, as President Donald Trump, now under threat of impeachment, would certify). 

And hey presto! Believe it or not, they were provided with Hollywood CDs. There was utter chaos in the Information and Broadcasting Ministry, secretaries running helter-skelter procuring those CDs. But there is considerable room for drama and vaudeville here. One aged leader asks for a Jane Russell CD. No one in Srinagar has heard of her. Moreover, there were no CDs in those times. What happens next? They unload a Russell Crowe movie on the poor, phiran-clad, kangri-nursing politico from the Lolab valley, or Nastachun. And instead of the svelte dream girl of the fifties, he watches the brawny Russell Crowe beat up Roman soldiers or the English of the days of Wallace the Braveheart. Capital stuff!

Worse is to come, friends. I would rate Omar Abdullah as an intellectual. Now what happens, if instead of a CD he asks for, he gets a book by Schopenhauer? Depressing fellow to read, but in this state of detention or house arrest or guesthouse arrest, he would be the right guy to read. 

The moment the demand comes in, there is bedlam. The cat is among the pigeons, the fox is in the chicken coop. The wise men in the I&B Ministry decide that this is a request for a CD. The trouble is no one can spell the depressing German philosopher correctly, so Google is no help. The matter reaches the PMO and one of the politicos runs to a smart lady Deputy Secretary and says, "Arre Behna, find this Schopenoruwa on Internet! Emergency!"

It must be tough being prominent politicos in the Valley. They have to deal with two sets of intelligence agencies — both the Pakistani ISI and the Indian Intelligence Bureau. Negotiating the opposing demands of Jammu and the Valley is itself a fulltime job. They also have to negotiate between Delhi and whoever is in charge in Srinagar. 

And don’t forget the militants. They have murdered quite a few politicians who did not toe their line, Lone among them. There is also the problem of siphoning away funds coming from abroad and keeping Indian sleuths at bay. The imams have to be kept happy, especially of Hazratbal, whom Benazir always pronounced as Hazrat Baal, thinking the name followed the presence of the Prophet’s hair. And they cannot sweep the hustings. It is almost a no-win situation.

The minister’s logic cannot be taken seriously. If a good breakfast is all that people need, a few aloo parathas in the morning and a CD or two, people would start pleading guilty in courts and lawyers would become briefless. 

You want to be at liberty to do or speak what you wish. 

Let us not forget the speech in 1775 

at the Virginia Convention, when Patrick Henry gave the call against oppressive taxation by the British: ‘Give me liberty or give me death.’ Both George Washington and Thomas Jefferson were in attendance.

Our justice system seems to be askew in more ways than one. Accused Chinmayanand is in medical care while the law student whom he allegedly raped for a year, is in jail. Contrast the speed of the police — they were at her door in the morning and whisked her away before she could wear her slippers. In police parlance, these are cross cases, each side files an FIR. Legally, they are expected to investigate both cases. But see the alacrity with which they took up the case against the lady. How partial can the Uttar Pradesh police be?