The perilous allure of social media

NOT everything, it seems, is fine with our growing indulgence in social media — particularly, the way the fascination with platforms like Facebook, Instagram and YouTube is affecting the mental health of our children: their process of growing up, their socialisation and education and their ways of engaging with the virtual world.

Is it the reason why Australia has already imposed a ban on social media for children under 16, and several European countries are set to follow the same path? Even in India, a debate around banning social media for children under 16 is gaining momentum.

Think of what could happen to your child if you ask him/her not to use the smartphone for a couple of days, and instead, concentrate on focused study or face-to-face interaction with his/her friends and loved ones.

It really frightens me as I reflect on the fate of the three sisters aged 16, 14, and 12 who jumped to death from the ninth floor of their apartment in a housing society in Ghaziabad. As reports suggest, it was a conflict-ridden family, and most importantly, their father was not particularly happy with the addiction of his three daughters to social media, and task-based online Korean games. They, it appears, could not bear this ‘shock’ and chose to end their lives.

These days, I am becoming increasingly convinced of the dialectic of technology. Think of, for instance, a device like a smartphone. Yes, it is magical. Give this device to a child or a teenager. She/he can connect instantly with the world, watch a film, listen to a song, play a video game, read a book, make reels and videos, send messages and use Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp in his/her own way.

This techno-savvy ‘smartness’ might impress them, yet the fact is that this indulgence with the smartphone also takes away something vital from them. The more addicted they are to the screen, the more dissociated they become from the real world; the more they play online games, the more lonely they become as they miss the joy of playing football or cricket with their friends in an open space; the more they scroll, the less focused/attentive they become; and above all, the more time they spend on making their videos ‘viral’, the less time they get for touching, reading, feeling, analysing and experiencing a book.

It is this dialectic that explains why the indulgence with social media has begun to affect children’s health, increased their anxiety, caused depression and damaged their self-esteem. American social psychologist Jonathan Haidt has analysed this crisis in his thought-provoking book The Anxious Generation. Yes, ‘digital under-parenting’, as Haidt argues, has led to unsupervised access to addictive and comparison-driven social media. Likewise, ‘real world over-parenting’ is preventing the normal developmental process of our children.

It is sad to see that childhood is no longer ‘play-based’; it is now ‘phone-based’. It is, therefore, not surprising that smartphones are pulling our children out of their immediate surroundings and replacing real-life friendship with shallow online communication. For this ‘anxious generation’, Haidt cautions us, sleep deprivation, attention fragmentation and loneliness are becoming the new normal. Understand the gravity of the crisis in India — according to the Annual Status of Education Report (2024), 76 per cent of the children (14-16 age group) use smartphones to access social media.

What is equally frightening is the impact of content creators or YouTube ‘influencers’ on these vulnerable young minds. Imagine a situation: your child cannot go to bed unless she/he consumes every night the mythical tales of a famous ‘influencer’ — a young person from a small town in Uttarakhand with more than 31 million subscribers constantly displaying his fascination with fancy cars — Mercedes-Benz G-Wagon, Porsche 718 Boxster and Toyota Fortuner Legender!

It might lead to a feeling of inadequacy and low self-esteem. When an ‘influencer’ of this kind begins to shape the aspirations of a vulnerable teenager, she/he might begin to believe that if one can earn so much just by updating family vlogs every morning, there is no reason to work hard, study rigorously and sharpen creative skills. Is it the reason why everywhere we see youngsters with their smartphones making reels, uploading their videos, trying to make their presence felt on YouTube or Instagram and striving for instant fame and success? ‘Like and subscribe’— it seems to have become the cherished mantra of our times!

The question is how we can rescue our children from this seduction. Even if we object to the idea of banning the use of social media altogether for our kids, what cannot be denied is that it is high time we began to do something substantial so that this addiction is minimised.

In fact, as teachers/parents, we ought to interact with them with love and empathy, encourage them to distinguish the real from the virtual, socialise with friends and neighbours, play outdoor games, activate the habit of reading good books — yes, hard copies of books, and sharpen the power of contemplation, critical thinking and reflection. It is equally important to converse with them and make them understand that our everyday existence does not resemble the curated images of beauty, fame and glory we see on the screen, and above all, it is good to be ‘ordinary’, ‘imperfect’ and yet filled with love, wonder and authentic relationships.

However, I am not sure whether as adults, we are really capable of accomplishing this important task. Or is it that we too — after the monotony and stress of our alienated 9-to-5 existence — feel like surrendering to our smartphones, and thereby become incapable of engaging with our children intensely and meaningfully?