Marriage market : Don’t ignore warning signs of domestic abuse

THE deaths of Twisha Sharma in Bhopal and Deepika Nagar in Greater Noida underscore that dowry, domestic abuse and patriarchal control continue to stalk Indian households, often behind the façade of education, affluence and social respectability. One woman reportedly wrote to her mother that she felt “suffocated”; another allegedly endured relentless demands for cash and a luxury car despite a lavish wedding. Both are now dead within months of marriage. India has outlawed dowry for over six decades, yet the practice has merely evolved with rising consumerism. The old demands for jewellery and household goods have given way to SUVs, luxury lifestyles, property transfers and financial assets. Marriage, in many cases, has degenerated into a transactional marketplace where women are expected to carry not only emotional labour but also economic value into their marital homes.

More disturbing is the normalisation of psychological abuse. In both cases, the victims allegedly confided in family members about harassment, coercion and humiliation before tragedy struck. Such warning signs are too often dismissed as “adjustment problems” or temporary marital discord. Families hesitate to intervene aggressively for fear of social embarrassment, while victims are pressured to preserve the marriage at any cost. That these cases involve educated urban families demolishes the myth that literacy automatically produces social reform. Degrees and professional status do not erase deeply embedded patriarchal entitlement. In fact, social prestige can sometimes shield abuse from scrutiny.

The criminal justice system must ensure swift and transparent investigation in both cases. Equally important is societal introspection. Dowry survives because society tolerates it in subtle forms — through “gifts”, status competition and silent acceptance. Until marriage ceases to be treated as a financial transaction, we will continue to lose daughters to greed disguised as tradition.