Jind's khap women back marriage curbs, seek ban on live-in relationships

The Jind khap panchayat’s decision to oppose live-in relationships and restrict marriages that violate traditional social norms has triggered sharp reactions on social media. However, the women’s wing of the Sarv Jatia Sarv Khap Panchayat has backed the decisions, with its pradhan Santosh Dahiya claiming that none of the women attending a meeting at Ramrai village yesterday had opposed the stand.

The Naugama Khap had convened the women’s panchayat following the backlash, particularly on social media.

A young woman, whose video on the issue has gone viral, said, “Haryana’ aged people have decided that they will not make amends in their old habits. They cherish making comments about women in ‘ghunghat’ but think that phones are spoiling girls in Haryana. Since educated women are not relenting to their wishes of marrying their school dropout boys, they have decided to impose restrictions on girls on the pretext of phones and love marriages.”

She further said, “Now educated girls are choosing their partners as per their standards, where they enjoy equal status in the family and lives, and not like what happened in Haryana till now.”

Alleging that restrictions were being sought to facilitate marriages of unemployed and less-educated Haryana men, she said, “Why are girls from other states being brought as brides? Because girls of their own state - Haryana - know their reality.” She added, “Women would marry according to their own wishes. Why doesn’t the government take action against such people?”

Dahiya said the women’s wing had decided to constitute a 30-member committee to visit villages and form 11-member committees in each village. These committees would approach young women in schools and colleges and hold dialogues with them on social norms and customs related to marriage.

Asked why such a meeting was held when there was no opposing view, Dahiya said young women from universities had been invited but “everybody favoured the decisions of the khap panchayats”.

She said letters had been sent to the President, Prime Minister, Union Law Minister and Leader of Opposition, seeking criminalisation of live-in relationships. “We have also sought meetings with them to discuss this issue,” she said.

Dahiya maintained that khaps were not opposed to love marriages per se. She said marriages were prohibited where couples belonged to the same village, villages considered part of the same bhaichara or gohaand, or the same gotra, as these relationships were viewed as akin to brotherhood or common ancestry.

She acknowledged that Chahal and Satrol khaps had relaxed some norms, particularly regarding gohaand villages, owing to difficulties in finding matches for boys. However, she said the Naugama Khap had taken no such decision.

Dahiya also expressed concern over “gun culture and gund culture”, referring to obscenity, and stressed the need to engage with the younger generation so that they focused on education and careers.

The Naugama Khap had, at its August 1 meeting in Ramrai village, decided that couples marrying in violation of its prevailing social norms would not be allowed to live in the 21 villages under its influence. It had also opposed live-in relationships and demanded their criminalisation.