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Know your limit

What seemed like a fun birthday party became a nightmare for a city girl, who was allegedly raped by a former schoolmate in a hotel at Zirakpur.

Know your limit


Mona

What seemed like a fun birthday party became a nightmare for a city girl, who was allegedly raped by a former schoolmate in a hotel at Zirakpur. To hang out in a crowd of boys and girls, to dance and to drink is a done thing these days. What’s not acceptable, however, is being taken advantage of in any manner.

The figures are alarming; one statistic reveals that in the US, one in five cases among teens is of ‘date rape’. In India, reportedly, 90 per cent of the sexual offenses are by people known to the victim. The unfortunate Chandigarh schoolgirl incident that happened in September was reported only in December, when the girl could confide in her parents! 

In the loop

For Namrata Mahajan, mother to two teen girls, it’s a tightrope walk, “With my daughters in such a phase when they don’t like parental control, I hate to admit that I do stop by in the clubs where my girls are partying with their friends for a quick glance.” While this banker trusts her daughters, the world is largely unsafe she insists. “Friends mean the world to my girls and while I cannot stop them from hanging out in mixed groups, I like to be in control.”

Serious issue 

Arsh and Sandeep, students of MCM DAV College, don’t take the issue of their safety lightly. “My effort is to be always in the public eye and move out of get-togethers before it gets too late,” says Sandeep. Her friend Arsh ensures a family member always knows where she is and with whom, “One cannot even trust close people.  When somebody knows your whereabouts, the risk is considerably reduced.” “A party is not worth a scar, if anything makes me feel conscious, I am out that very instant,” says Sandeep. Pursuing fashion designing in the city, Puja Goyal identifies herself as a party-goer, but insists on buying her own drink, always, “While it’s okay to go out and dance with abandon, what one can’t afford to do is to let one’s drink slip out of sight.”  

Two-step approach

  • Psychiatrist Dr Priti Arun, GMCH-32 lists two-step approach to ensure safety, “Be aware that danger lurks. Even if you are with your friends, never be lax. Alcohol or other drugs impact judgement and one is not able to make the right decision under the intoxicants. To beat that, let your conduct convey pretty well that even when high there are limits that you would maintain.” 
  • Parents play a significant role here and open communication right from the beginning is the key, “First of all, accept that teens would have friends from opposite gender and that they would date. Enlist mutual trust to keep your daughter in the safety net.”

Be wary

  • Always order your own drink or bring your own drink
  • Don’t let it slip out of sight, not even when going to washroom
  • Roofies (a kind of sedative) generally leave a bluish colour, be watchful of that 
  • Opt for buddy system, let a trusting person track you

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From the principal’s desk 

Changing society

In the wake of a societal trend where children today have far more exposure and freedom than ever before, what works is a lot of curious conversations about sensitive issues, where they are drawn into offering solutions and working them through. Training in self-defence is also essential. Creating awareness about the laws that protect children through seminars and interaction with professionals in the field does help a lot too. In addition, schools today have the responsibility of educating parents too.  — Vandana Saxena, Principal, Tribune Model School 

Learn to defend

Unfortunately, the present scenario in our country demands girls to be trained in self-defence. We at Punjab Public School, Nabha, train our girls in taekwondo and various other martial arts. We have recently launched project ‘Muskaan’ wherein the focus is to educate men and bring a change in their mindset instead. — Dr Jagpreet Singh, Headmaster,  Panjab Public School, Nabha

Save yourself

It is time self-defence drills became a part of the school curriculum. We have just finished a self-defence session conducted by the Chandigarh Police for our senior girls. As many as 97 were trained by them. Along with this, the counselors also talk to them.  — Renu Puri, Principal, Vivek High School 

Major steps

Upbringing and taking care of a girl child is highly challenging nowadays. These days not only girls, even boys fall victim to sexual abuse. Schools being major stakeholders take the onus of creating awareness regarding this sensitive issue among the young minds along with the parents.  In our school there are committees such as Voice Against Sexual Harassment, Issue Redressal Forum etc take prime responsibility of holding workshops, sessions and talks to ensure all students are well-informed. — Monika Sharma, Principal, Ashiana Public School  

— Manpriya Singh

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