The art of communicating, nonverbally

Body language is the quintessential of one’s repertoire of skills and something to be acquainted with when travelling to foreign lands. It’s about showing respect to the other culture. Moreover, remember that etiquette is always read by the other from their socio-cultural perspective. Understand that there are “high touch” cultures like Italy to “no touch” cultures like Japan. The UK, the US and the Arab countries are “low touch” cultures. So a handshake along with a hug might not be very welcomed in these lands. 

The eyes give away 

The eyes are the windows to the soul; they can give you away with subconscious movement or a simple, mistimed blink. They roll with annoyance, cry out of sadness, look disinterested or light up out of happiness. It is important that you keep in mind how much your gaze behaviour can communicate about you and your intentions. When you want to show your confidence and assertiveness then look the other person in the power zone–it is the triangle of eye–eye–forehead. The social gaze, the triangle of eye–eye–nose or mouth, makes you appear friendly and even shy. Do not look in this zone especially when you need to talk business. Too much of power gaze can, however, intimidate the other, so oscillate between the two gazes appropriately. 

All important posture 

Facial expressions can be tricky. They can be anything from how your lips are positioned, to how your nose is wrinkled, to how your eyebrows are raised. These movements mostly occur subconsciously based on mood, but once again, being aware of them will make it easier to control them. Posture refers to how your legs, arms, and even neck is positioned. 

A proper posture says you are confident and in control while a poor posture says just the opposite. Slouching, sticking your belly out, stuffing your hands in your pockets, and folding your arms defensively all suggest aggressive unease. How you stand, walk, or even sit says a lot about how you view yourself. Standing straight is more active, confident. 

The make or break gestures 

It is interesting to note that men in the UK are seen sitting with a scissor leg cross over the knee which the men in America would find effeminate. They prefer to sit leg crossed in the shape of 4. This sitting posture is also not appreciated in the Arab countries, as the display of the sole of your shoe is rude to the host and their hospitality. Normally, women don’t cross their legs, but men are allowed. Avoid jiggling your knee, which is a sign of nervousness (and can be pretty annoying to people sitting near you). Gesticulation is a sensitive issue. The ‘thumbs up’ is probably the most commonly known body language gesture and is typically used to convey agreement or enthusiasm in the Western world. For those of the Middle Eastern origin, however, the gesture means quite the opposite; it is instead considered extremely rude. Just as the ‘okay’ gesture is considered rude in France. Using your hands can be effective sometimes, aggressive sometimes, and irrelevant most of the time. Controlling your hands takes effort and willpower. Monitor your hand movements. Avoid making sweeping, cappuccino-clearing gestures during meetings in the USA but the Italians would love you for it. Nonetheless, a show of hands appropriately is considered assertive, as if saying ‘I have no weapons, I am safe’ in the US. The British are more conservative with their body language.

(Chaudhary is a Chandigarh-based image consultant and etiquette expert)