Liberty, equality

Mona

aan bas ek thappad, par nahi maar sakta’ the protagonist takes a stand in the trailer of the film Thappad. Due to release in the last week of February, this Taapsee Pannu-starrer has been the talking point ever since the trailer release, which has amassed 18 million views so far. Domestic violence in this day and age? Yes, as baffling as it might seem, it’s a stark reality.

What the statistics reveal…

“Every third woman, since the age of 15, has faced domestic violence of various forms in the country,” reveal statistics by the National Family Health Survey (NHFS-4), released by the Union Health Ministry. Global Gender Gap Report pegs another 100 years before we can see an equal world. The report released towards the end of last year, reveals that Western Europe has the smallest gender gap, while Asia-Pacific, the Middle East and Africa do poorly compared to the rest of the world.

Not so bright yet

Unfortunately, domestic abuse and violence is present in our society, irrespective of the woman’s financial or social status. Firebrand telly actress Shweta Tiwari, who also won Bigg Boss Season 4, lodged a police complaint against husband Abhinav Kohli for domestic violence; every man’s dream girl Zeenat Aman was reportedly beaten more than once, but, much in love, she refused to file a complaint.

The two women in news this week — one Suraj Lata has led Indian team to gold thrice — Commonwealth Games 2002, Afro-Asian Games 2003, and Hockey Asia Cup 2004. It was her life that the film Chak De was inspired from. Another, playback singer, Sushmitha, who sang in Kannada films, ended her life for being allegedly tortured soon after her wedding.

Those hoping for a resolution have to wait long and hard. “I am afraid this violence is set to rise than fall,” shares Dr Ruchi Gupta, who works in the field of gender violence. “One cannot snatch equality, while women are increasingly being empowered socially, financially, men are yet to come to terms that no more is a woman their ‘property’ and ‘powerless’ to be treated as they wish.”

Tough fight

Saakshi, a digital marketer, is a domestic violence survivor and gives thumbs up to Thappad trailer. “So ingrained is it in a woman’s mind in our society that she doesn’t even realise when she faces violence.”

Dr Gupta labels the trailer ‘wonderful’. The trailer reveals how one slap makes the protagonist see clearly all that she has been subjected too “However, standing up for self ‘just after one slap’ feels rather impractical,” says Saakshi. “But the issue has to be taken seriously. Domestic violence is tricky; one act of violence and it’s a road downhill. It’s all about power dynamics. Men are powerful and women powerless is still the norm; anyone trying to object to it finds little or no support,” she adds. Saakshi fought five years in court for justice before her father got her back, but not many have that support system.

The way ahead

“Domestic violence is a definite reality in our country and the only way out is to teach kids in kindergarten that violence breeds violence, and it can never be a solution to any problem. The ones that perpetrate it will one day be victims of it themselves,” offers theatre person Sohaila Kapur.

Dr Gupta stresses on first unlearning old patterns and then grasping new ones. “The young impressionable minds must be taught and trained in the new power dynamics. While Saakshi insists that boys should be groomed like girls. “The need is to teach men how to rein in their temper, as girls have been taught over the centuries.”

mona@tribunemail.com