Neither a borrower nor a lender be

Ritu Kamra Kumar  

Neither a borrower, nor a lender be. For loan oft loses both itself and friend. And borrower dulls the edge of husbandry.” This portion from William Shakespeare’s ‘Polonius advises Laertes’ is relevant even today. It is a piece of advice to people who often borrow money and forget to pay. I was reminded of these wise words as I passed by my neighbour’s house. The other day, she had come to me, humbly pleading me to lend her one thousand rupees as her husband had not yet got his salary. Empathising with her plight, I gave the money, but after that she never showed her face to me.

There are many such people who give excuses to borrow money. There are some who casually tell you to give shagun on their behalf on the occasion of a celebration you are going to attend. You gift the envelope on their behalf, but they never repay the shagun amount. Thereafter, whenever you meet them, the matter bothers you, but you don’t dare mention it, lest it should ruin your relationship with them. It’s so true: “who ventures to lend loses money and friend”. 

Why do people postpone repaying debts? Is it amnesia or intentional forgetfulness or are they habitual offenders? Well, the reasons and excuses can vary. Some people are adept at living off others’ money and habits die hard. I have a friend who is quite well off, yet her purse is always empty and even for small amounts, she resorts to borrowing, and often forgets to repay. Though she keeps telling us, “Please remind me if I have to pay you some money. You all know, how it is. I am very forgetful.” We have now accepted her habit, all in the package of friendship, but sometimes it does pinch badly.

A little bit of borrowing is permissible. During my hostel days, this give-and-take activity was common among friends as pocket money was always insufficient. But borrowing as a habit is antagonistic and annoying.

Stephen Leacock illustrates this well in his story ‘My Lost Dollar’, where the author lends a dollar to his friend Todd in the name of friendship and in kindness. But Todd forgets to return the money. Stephen drops many hints to remind Todd of the dollar that he owes him, but in vain. Finally, he gives up on Todd. As Stephen adds him to the list of people who owe him money, it occurs to him that just like Todd, he too might have forgotten to repay some borrowed money. He ends the story by wishing to start an ‘Honesty Movement’ for paying those small amounts that he might have borrowed. In humour, the author leaves a final comment: that he didn’t want Todd to stumble upon his story and read it. 

I, too, wish the same because I may be looking for a standard from others that I myself might have failed to meet. The lender is pained if the borrower forgets to return the amount to him. However, the anecdote does teach a message: ‘Neither a borrower, nor a lender be.’