The many shades of empty nesters

Smita Vats Sharma

Updated At : 04:54 AM Feb 21, 2026 IST

THE other day, I bawled over a song. A long-forgotten favourite turned up on the playlist in the middle of a long drive. I blithely blamed the YouTube algorithm for catching me unawares, but the haunting lyrics — “Chhitti aayi hai watan se chhitti aayi hai…” — did manage to pierce an empty nester’s heart!

Empty nesters miss their kids constantly and moms are the worst culprits. But we do try to bounce back. Long drives, movies, lunches with friends and binge-watching OTT shows are par for the course for us.

Then there’s work. These years seem to be the final stretch of the race before we hang our boots and so the professional pace is fast and furious. Work takes us places, curiosity takes us places and then there are the weddings. We are at an age where almost all young people we know are getting married and we seem to be crisscrossing around attending the festivities. We seem so busy and occupied that even the kids are impressed.

The kids, as it is, don’t seem very far away. We talk multiple times a day. Sometimes, dad’s advice is needed. Sometimes, I am tapped for something. Sometimes, they are chatting among themselves. There’s also a hyperactive family chat group.

But, yes, there’s still a ‘but’. You do miss them, achingly, when you watch kids rushing off to catch the school bus in the morning and you miss them whenever you meet kids in the elevator coming back from the playground with their bikes, bottles and besties chattering nineteen to the dozen.

You miss them when their favourite song suddenly plays in the cafe. You miss them on their favourite festival. Food is another slippery slope. There are days when you are able to have rajma chawal in peace, but there are times when kadhi chawal feels heavy as the one who relishes it the most is not at home.

You try to make the most of the few weeks that they are home. Cooking, chatting and catching up in our time together which seems to fly away deceptively too soon. Common sense says that over time one should get used to their coming and going. There will surely be another trip soon. But a parent’s heart knows no logic.

It still takes me a few days to step into their room. It takes me some more time to start picking up the gym bags, racquets and sundry clothes left behind.

I often leave the messy study table as it is just to have that lingering feeling of their presence for a few days more.

Being an empty nester is hard. You learn to live with an ache in your heart and your ears attuned to your phone. You may convince the world and yourself that you have bounced back and are living in the moment, but that aloo parantha with butter is not happening anytime soon without my child at the table!

The writer is Director General (West Zone), Ministry of Information and Broadcasting

The many shades of empty nesters

Smita Vats Sharma

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