Dear Men, Misogyny is not cool

Reicha Tanwar 

Cricket is a gentlemen’s game yet all cricketers may not be gentlemen. Players like Hardik Pandya and KL Rahul proved otherwise on Koffee with Karan, a popular chat show hosted by Karan Johar. The show exhibited male camaraderie among the players as the two unabashedly boasted of their drunken behaviour and female conquests. The show brought to light how, despite all movements for women’s emancipation, #MeToo and in-your-face feminism, misogyny continues to be treated as ‘cool’.

Being a celebrity does not give one the right to speak about women as objects or to sift them into categories of seeing, dating and relationships. Boasting of hooking up with multiple women and saying, “I like to watch and observe how they (women) move” was crude and crass. This is a glaring example of sexual objectification, which is looking at a person merely for sexual pleasure and treating her as an object of use. For such men, a woman is simply an erotic figure to fulfil the fantasy of the spectator. This ‘macho’ behaviour is derived from  Spanish/Portuguese word ‘machismo,’ a concept associated with a strong sense of masculine pride. According to author and columnist William Safire, “It refers to the swaggering male; the trappings of manliness used to dominate women and keep them in their place.”

Boys and men often go a step further and use violence to demonstrate their masculinity. How else do you describe an acid attack or a gang rape? These acts of crime are driven by masculine norms, social dynamics and ‘role models’. And how such behaviour actually reinforces the belief about the ‘real man’. Many believe that manhood is an achieved status, one that must be earned via action and words.

Hardik Pandya says that he is inspired by West Indian players and their lifestyle. 

Perhaps I am from a different generation but my mind is revolted by  sexist comments by celebrities. In different parts of the world, we have sportsmen in soccer, basketball, etc. leading flamboyant lifestyles. However, let’s not forget the likes of Roger Federer and several Australian cricketers, who are known for their decent behaviour.

India is a young nation. Cricketers, in particular, enjoy an iconic status. A large part of the population, particularly the youth, follows the professional and personal lives of these sports celebrities. What Pandya and Rahul said on Karan Johar’s show might have fetched it great TRPs, but see how repulsed the nation is! All behaviour is rooted in a socio-cultural context and what may be normal and routine in a particular culture, seems totally out of place in another. After the show, the players have been suspended by the BCCI. Right or wrong, people pay attention to what celebrities have to say. Unfortunately for the world’s celebrities, this means that they cannot get away with making offensive statements. 

It has often been reiterated that engaging boys and men for promoting gender equality is critical. Male engagement is necessary to challenge structures, beliefs, practices that perpetuate such sexiest beliefs. And, for this, the first and foremost institution is the family.

A study on sexual harassment has found that what men see as harmless fun or casual interaction, women tend to consider it sexual harassment. The Criminal Law Amendment Act 2013, which was enacted following the Nirbhaya incident, has recognised certain acts as offences. These include acid attack, sexual harassment, voyeurism and stalking. These offences have been incorporated into the Indian Penal Code with appropriate punishment. However, if a woman tries to lodge a complaint in a police station against voyeurism or stalking, we can imagine the reaction of the officials concerned.

Hardik Pandya said with great pride that he failed in every class and studied till Class IX because of the school’s policy of not detaining students. How can one assess this statement? In a Canadian television series, a young student is shown insensitive and rude towards a fellow student. When the teacher got to know about the episode, she asked the whole class to celebrate ‘kindness week’. Maybe our youth, too, need such lessons. Being kind, sensitive, compassionate and considerate to others, and women in particular, are virtues to cherish.  The likes of Pandya, Rahul and, perhaps even Karan Johar, need to understand this. The show was definitely not entertainment.

— The writer is former director, Women’s Studies Research Centre, Kurukshetra University