To swipe left or right

Olivia Petter

If you want to browse through the richest and most eclectic catalogue of humankind, look no further than your nearest dating app. Nowhere else will you find such a cacophony of caricatures with profiles created for the sole purpose of attracting a mate. Despite the contemporary bells and whistles of emoji-littered bios and Valencia-filtered photos, the whole process is really rather feral, bringing out some of the best and worst singleton stereotypes that society has to offer.

So, how do you know who is worth swiping right on and who is really just another cliché? Are you the one who...

Might be a sociopath

No bio and just one picture that looks like it’s been pinched from a stock website… steer clear. This is a classic case of someone who either cannot be bothered to take the time to craft a profile — in which case, they’re lazy and probably not worth your time.

Has ‘rave reviews’

It’s not clear why people think “reviews” are going to be in any way enticing. Not only do they indicate a complete lack of originality — almost every other bio has at least one — but we know that you’ve almost definitely made them up and nobody likes fake news.

Is ashamed to be on a dating app

“I’ll tell our kids we met in a bar” — it’s 2018, welcome.

Always on Netflix

Their profile picture is a group snap, three guys, three girls. They say they want “to bring a little extra sparkle” to their friendship group, but in reality, they’re just looking for someone to mess around with so they have something juicy to talk about with their pals. Swipe right and don’t look back, no one told you life was gonna to be this way. —The Independent