Door bell vs car horn

H. Kishie Singh

Santa goes to pick his friend from his house. He gets there, blows the horn to call his friend. The friend does not appear. Beep-beep! Again, beep-beep! Does the friend not have a door bell? This is the job for a door bell, not the car horn.

He gets home. To alert someone to open the gate, beep-beep! He can’t be bothered to get out and use the door bell.

While driving, he is glued to his cell phone. This would have been an appropriate time to use the cell phone to alert someone in the house in advance to open the gate. Again, job for the door bell, not horn.

Mind you, Santa does this only in India. During the Christmas season when Santa is in his sleigh, he does not make these rude noises. He slides down the chimney silently so as not to disturb anyone. That’s good manners and proper social etiquette.

Noise has emerged as a serious pollutant and is having harmful effects on the health of the population.

The car horn is one of the greatest contributors to noise pollution and we use it with gay abandon. The short and long term problems from excessive noise can be hearing loss, tinnitus, cardiovascular, not to mention psycho-physiological effects. 

It is with this in mind that the Chandigarh Police and HDFC Bank have launched ‘Main Horn Nehi Bajaunga’. 

The accompanying image is a sticker on my steering wheel. A constant reminder not to blow my horn.

Indians discovered the zero centuries ago. Another very important discovery is the horn. Like the tom-tom has a language of its own, so does the horn. 

Now, some gems of horn language: The long beep is a war cry. Like Bruce Lee yells ‘aiyee’ to strike fear in the enemy’s heart. Everyone on the road is the enemy!

Many long beeps mean “get off the road you; make way for me!”

Several short beeps. Usually at a red light to wake up the driver in front. “Hurry up you. Get moving!” Single beep. Testing, testing! Aha! My horn works. 

Gated communities have a very strict policy of ‘No Honking’. The residents demand absolute silence. 

In the high-rise colonies in the NCR region it is not allowed to have the beep- beep hooters that sound off when reverse gear is engaged.

If half a dozen residents have to leave early morning to catch the Shatabdi, they would wake up the entire neighbourhood with the beep-beeping.

If you had this reversing beep-beep gizmo on your car in any of the developed countries, you would be arrested for being a public nuisance.

It is a sad measure of our insensitivity, lack of compassion and decency that we honk in hospital compounds. These are ‘silence zones’. Even the roads adjoining hospitals are silence zones. Show kindness, courtesy and love for your fellow human beings, senior citizens, the incapacitated, people on crutches and in wheel chairs. The fine for honking in hospital zones is Rs 1,000. 

Bumper stickers are a great source of humour, good ideas and home-grown philosophy. One of the best I have read reads, “Bina vajah kutte nahi bhonkte!” (Without reason, dogs don’t bark)

Happy Motoring!