Net picking

Does the dog bite?

THERE was a guy who went to a yard sale, and while he was at the yard sale, there was a dog there. He asked, "Does your dog bite? The man said, "No." So the guy reached down to pet the dog, then the dog clamped onto his arm. The man then pried the dogs jaws loose from his arm and looked up at the man and said, "You said, "your dog did not bite." To which the man replied, "That’s not my dog!"

Bump!

A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache. Finally his nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some post operation shock, spoke to the doctor about it. "Don’t worry about a thing, nurse," the doctor assured her. "He really does have a bump on his head. About halfway through the operation we ran out of anaesthetic."