This business of beauty
This ‘n’ that
By Renee Ranchan

THE other day a little girl — she’s in Class I — came up to me with an unwieldy invitation in hand. I do not understand why cards have to be so oversized. Last to last month, I received a wedding card which, was the size of a small poster. Anyhow this was not a wedding card. This was an invitation to a beauty pageant. So what, had not beauty contests become a way of life? So why the mention of the invite?

Well because this ‘beauty show’ was for girls from nursery to Class I. No, their school was not organising it but, do not blow away, a few mothers who over tea and munchies had this ‘ brilliant brainwave’. The logic I suppose: competition was tough and so you could never start early enough. But that is not all. The girl glowingly tells me that I was chosen as one of the judges. I? What had I done to deserve such an honour?

Little Ankita did not know but going by her dimpled smile she was glad to be the messenger of such happy tidings. Was she participating in the show ? But of course. And she had been working hard on making things work. This meant practising hard on walking, talking and looking right. Once she left, the perfectly made-up face of Jo Benet Ramsay floated in front of me. Even under the powder and puff and blush-on, the face was cherubic. Yes, six year olds cannot be anything but so. Do you recall the case? Jo Benet was no ordinary kindergarten child ... she led a hectic life, did not have time to learn nursery rhymes, scrape knees and have her mommy coo the pain away. Her mother was busy too, holding her daughter’s hand every step of the way while she learnt to walk the ramp like a Naomi Campbell and spent hours learning to hold that make-up brush. And all the sweat had started to pay dividend. Modelling offers had started pouring in, she had even managed to get a TV commercial. And why not, she had after all won the Mini Miss America (or some such title) contest. And did not she look absolutely adorable with those fake eyelashes and painted mouth, not to forget the glimmering crown over her soft perm tresses?

Yes, the future was bright with big bucks and fame. However, Miss Mini America was found murdered on Christmas Eve or was it New Year’s? Murdered in the basement of her house. Physical abuse cannot be ruled out. The case still unsolved. Perhaps the little girl’s life would not have been cut so tragically short had things been different. Had she not have had to saunter around in high heels, put on grown-up airs and attract the attention she did, may be. Do you get the picture?

Back to our own ground. Beauty contests, as I said earlier, have become a way of life. Neighbourhood beauty queens, town ones, district ones, yes. And all of them claim, rather cry themselves sore in the throat, that all these contests are only about personality, deportment, intelligence... What exactly, then, is Miss Shiny Hair, Miss Best Smile, Miss Photogenic about? And this all began in 1994 when two of our beauty queens went international. One to become Miss Universe and the other Miss World! And the scene in India: Parents started christening their brand new baby girls Sushmita, Aishwarya. (Yes sir, I know of a dozen or more kindergarten pupils called so. Though, for whatever reason, there are more Aishwaryas than Sushs!) Why the name craze? Simple. The names were lucky. And who knows baby might grow up to be another Aishwarya, rake in millions, have her face on every magazine cover and do her parents proud. These parents — as well as those who did not call their little angels Sush or Ash — wanted their girls to succeed and, have the good things in life. Becoming a doctor, professor, scientist or a lawyer had been crossed off the agenda. Of course, they were fine professions. Nobody was discounting that but... but creature comforts as in having a plush duplex apartment, a hefty bank balance, a snazzy car and a lifestyle to match was the aim. This had to be realised immediately. Like before one hit one’s 25th birthday.

The profession that would bring in this and more was modelling. However, to be an immediate success you had to be a super-model, a la Cindy Crawford, the prerequisite was that you had to be a beauty queen of sorts. After that, of course, there was no looking back. And who said the shelf-life of a model was short? After clocking in five or six years, the future was still bright. All you had to do was open a train-to-be-a model agency.

There would be no dearth of students, despite the burn- a hole-in- your- pocket fee. That reminds me, a month-and-a half ago, I received a shocking pink flier in the morning paper. Join, join now, it urged. That too, in bold golden letters. Yes, you can imagine the combination of pink and gold. Join what? A grooming school that had sprung up in my locality.

No parent with an iota of sense would want his little princess to miss out on such a golden opportunity of becoming an empress. And who was their miss grooming expert? What were her qualifications? Had she graduated from a Swiss finishing school? The advertisement went on and on about why it should be a part of every girl’s essential packet — a lifemaking prospect. These grooming schools are mushrooming all over. Talk of cashing in on the present wave and the current insecurities .... Around the same time I also heard that in Delhi a beauty salon, exclusively for girls under 14, has come up. Can you believe that? It took me a while to believe that, until I remembered a recent wedding in the family.

Many of my cousins’ pre-teen kids were in a frenzy. So many things to get done before the wedding ceremony — bleaching, waxing, manicures, facials hair teased into french knots, braids and other elaborate dos. No, I am not exaggerating. Not a wee bit. Do wish though I was! But to return to this for-kids-only beauty parlour. I have also heard — actually read in a write-up in a paper — that the proprietor proclaims (yes, in a self-righteous tone) that she was not running a beauty shop. Her salon was a place where children learn the importance of a clean scalp and therefore, the sudsy shampoo and hair rinse that was offered. Where girls would realise how essential it was to have clipped, filed and clean nails and thus a manicure and pedicure were necessary.

Excuse me, correct me if I am wrong, but is that not a mother’s prerogative? Something parents are supposed to teach their young ones. Lessons on hygiene. And if what the lady proprietor of this all-for-the sake- of-cleanliness enterprise says is true then what can you say, except you never knew business and philanthropic exercises went hand in hand. And that is not all. The beauty trip does not begin and end with routine trips to the salon. You have to have those lean and hungry looks as well. I believe they are called "famined" looks. And for that appearance, two things have to be done. Number one: you have to be on a strict sugarfree, oil-free ( and sometimes even a food-free!) diet. Secondly, you have to spend half your life in the gym. You have heard of working out, no? How else would you acquire that taut, not-an-inch-to-pinch appearance.

All in the name of fitness, Yes indeed, there now is a fixation with fitness. But in actuality does fitness enter the picture. Does a threatening-to-fly-away-with-the-blow-of-your-breath body amount to being hale ‘n’ hearty? Therefore, it really is not surprising that with our overemphasis on trying to acquire the perfect body, certain serious mental and physical problems have cropped up. Ailments like anorexia and bulimia. Yup, in the past few years—another 90’s phenomenon—the ‘diseases’ have become rampant.

Thankfully though, so far the malady is only ‘restricted’ to the big, bad cities. Anorexia Nervosa is a form of deliberate and severe self-starvation and can lead to death. Bulimia is the flip side of anorexia—here the person goes on a binging spree, and then out of guilt for taking in food, purges it out. These diseases are the outcome of an anti-fat society where figure control ensures control of life at various levels. There is much to say about these eating disorders...next time or next to next time, we will talk about them in detail.

Right now I have more pressing matters to attend to, like how to wriggle out of being a judge in the Little Miss Lovely Contest (I think that is what the invite says!). If you come up with a good excuse do let me know...