Net picking

My friend Fido

Just after the maid had been fired, she took five bucks from her purse, she threw it to Fido, the family dog. When asked why by her former employer, she answered: "I never forget a friend. This was for helping me clean the dishes all the time!"

Very faaast!

"Outside of the Manila Hotel, a Japanese tourist gets in a cab and tells the driver to drive him to the airport.

On their way, a car zoomed by and the Japanese goes "Aaah Toyota, made in Japan...very faaast!" And then another car zooms by and the Japanese goes "Aaah Nissan, made in Japan...very faaast!" And then another, "Aaah Mitsubishi, made in Japan...very faaast!"

By this time the Pinoy cabby’s getting tired of his passenger‘s nationalistic pride. Upon arriving at the airport the cabby tells his passenger "400 pesos please."

The Japanese goes "400 pesos? It’s not that far from the hotel!"

The cabby’s reply: "Aaah, taxi meter, made in Japan.... very faaast!"

Forgotten glasses

While on a car trip, an old couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. The old woman unfortunately left her glasses on the table, but didn’t miss them until they were back on the highway. By then, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around. The old man fussed and complained all the way back to the restaurant. When they finally arrived, as the old woman got out of the car to retrieve her glasses, the old man said, "While you’re in there, you may as well get my hat, too."

(These jokes have been culled from various sites on the Internet by Sunil Sharma)