Generation gap: Agony of the day
Young speak
By Preeti Verma

"CHILDHOOD and youth are poetry, manhood and old age are prose". Whosoever said that must have meant that our starry-eyed younger generation is poles apart from the wordly-wise and practical older generation. We are talking of the ‘generation gap’ here. The situation is so grim that parents and children are as distant as are Mercury and Pluto. The parents obviously get furious at the lack of moral and cultural values in their children, while the latter remain fed up of the never-changing scenario of dictatorship.

What is making parents and kids drift apart? We are living in times where values are undergoing quick changes. Parents talk of changing (degrading!) morals and ideals of the younger generation. They can’t cope with their wards’ materialistic attitude and desire to ape western culture.

The do’s and don’ts are largely defined by family role models or the culture. They mostly come into play when one has to choose either a career or a marriage partner. An average Indian parent always wants to have a say in such matters. And these two critical decisions can make or mar one’s life. The parents’ argument is that since they know the wicked ways of the world and are more experienced, they know what is the best for their children. No doubt, experience counts but life is unpredictable. One learns from one’s mistakes. But what if one isn’t allowed to take chances? What hasn’t proved lucky for one could do wonders for the other. So shouldn’t the youngsters be given a fair chance to learn and experience life the hard way and not be spoon-fed? The over-protective attitude of parents leads to haunting fears of incompetence in kids, who in turn try to cover such fears by acts of defiance. To have a career which is not of their choice can lead to lower job satisfaction and frustration. So shouldn’t parents see what a child can do instead of forcing him to do what they desire?

Parents even like to have a say in the kind of friends their children move around with. They object to late-night outings and weird fashions. Well, up to a certain point the conservatism bred by age may be useful as a brake on the wilder flights of youthful imagination, but gradually the age-old practices have to give way to newer norms and practices. No doubt, restrictions impart a sense of belonging and responsibility, but couldn’t the hold be let loose a little? Reasonable norms are easier to adopt than stringent rules.

One of the main agonies of parents today is the baneful influence of media on children. They despise it for ruining ing the moral values of their wards. According to them, media including cinema, should be the living instrument of idealistic expressions. But then again, media expresses ideas, fashions, norms which are already prevalent. We’ve come to a stage where the subject of sex must be freely discussed if the younger generation is to be saved from sexual ruin. Isn’t it better to be aware of the facts of life than to be ignorant and, hence vulnerable? Moreover, our present political scenario — with politicians like Sukh Ram, Laloo Prasad and Bill Clinton embroiled in all sorts of scams, involving money, extra-marital affairs, etc — raises many questions. Who says age always deserves respect? History tells it all that when there was no T.V., the world was not a better place. It had all the vices of today’s generation.

If parents want to rule and gain respect, they must drive their authority in a manner which is logical and convincing. The condition of human mind is such that mere acceptance makes even a wrong thing right. So the older generation must accept that everything that exists suffers change. Somewhere, a line has to be drawn between the good and the bad. Even the younger generation should try not to hurt their parent’s sentiments. And if it’s not a matter of life and death, they should give in to their parent’s demands or at least try to reason with them.

Adjustments have to be made by both the sides. Parents should not overshadow their children and kill their individuality, but give them some breathing space and a fair chance to prove themselves. Ideally, parents should guide not direct. Open-mindedness and healthy interaction go a long way in sorting out this problem. Each should put oneself in other’s shoes and think from the other’s point of view. Parents always intend the very best for their children. The trick is to convey the message properly. Despite all these differences, parents and children spend the better part of their lives together. A little effort could make their world a better place.

" Go however fast to find honest joy, Learn from any who is wise, though a guy; Give your life the altruists’ bliss to win, Cut your very arm away, if it sin".