Sunday, September 28, 2003		Ulta-pulta

A netaji suddenly woke up in the middle of the night, terrified by a bad dream. His wife asked him what had happened. "I dreamt that someone had inaugurated the bridge for which I had to cut the ribbon in the morning!"

There can’t be a worse dream for a politician whose biggest passion is to cut ribbons and deliver speeches.

His fears are not unfounded. BJP legislator Tikshan Sud was driving to a party rally in Hoshiarpur. On his way he saw the construction of the building housing the offices of the district administration was almost complete. He hastily inaugurated the building with the help of his supporters by breaking a coconut and garlanding the pillars. Sweets were distributed, slogans were shouted. It’s a different matter that the building was not yet complete and was expected to be inaugurated by the Chief Minister Amarinder Singh.

Capt Amarinder Singh should deploy top-level security in all the buildings and on all the roads, and bridges which are nearing completion. If this trend picks up, any Tom, Dick or Harry can snatch the chance of ribbon cutting from the ruling party MLAs.

The Akalis and the BJP are fully justified in knocking the doors of the court: "Mi Lord! For the projects which were initiated by our government, the inaugural rights should rest with us." Then there will be appeals and counter-appeals by the government and Opposition to decide who will have the right to inaugurate a particular dam. By the time the verdict is handed down the river on which the dam was to be constructed might even have dried up.

Imagine a police party chasing a Opposition leader on the streets in typical filmistyle. A passerby asks the constable, "Kya hua? Has he murdered someone?"

No, he has committed a bigger crime than that. He has snatched the scissors and inaugurated the school building before the arrival of the honourable education minister!" replies the constable.