Monday, December 1, 2003		Cyber Humour

Internet howlers
From Sunil Sharma

The Net rage has hit the mainstream. Unfortunately, nobody seems to know what it is. The following customer comments are attributed to students at a university campus computer store in the USA

• "I’d like to buy the Internet. Do you know how much it is?"

• "Can you copy the Internet for me on this diskette?"

• "I just got your Internet in the mail today..."

• "I just downloaded the Internet. How do I use it?"

• "I don’t have a computer at home. Is the Internet available in book form?"

• "Will the Internet be open on Memorial Day tomorrow?"

• "We’re getting an Internet from you. Are you guys having any problems sending out your Internets?"

• "The Internet is running too slow. Could you reboot it please?"

• "We’re going on holiday for three months, can you suspend the Internet for us, please?"

• "I have a problem with my Internet. Anyone know how to get the screens smaller?"

• "What do you mean, I have to pay for Internet access?"

• "I lost my Internet. I switched it off last night and turned on this morning, and it’s gone. I just paid $19.95 a month, and I have lost it already. Can you send me another one?"

• "The Internet site’s giving me a busy signal"

Faxing confidential material

Boss: "Do you know anything about this fax machine?"

Secretary: "A little. What’s wrong?"

Boss: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a cover sheet and a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing happened.

Secretary: "How did you load the sheet?"

Boss: "Well...it’s a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn’t want anyone else to read it by accident. Therefore, I folded it so that only the recipient would open it and read it."

— Culled from the Net