The Tribune - Spectrum


Sunday, September 30, 2001

When partners are remade for each other

THIS refers to the article "Remade for each other" by Chetna Banerjee (September 16). These days divorced women are not viewed as tainted or unholy. Economic independence of women has given them more mental and emotional independence and has freed them from the shackles of an inferiority complex. Women no longer imitate men. Men too have transformed themselves and have changed their attitude. On the other hand, men who marry divorcees, take pride in their marriages have now no qualms in marrying divorcees.




Love is selective and exclusive, and it craves not only sexual intimacy, but also deep personal affection.

Perfect harmony in conjugal life should be aimed at, or as much harmony as is possible can be attained. But it is not worthwhile to get together with someone with whom you feel you cannot establish permanent harmony. I do not accept that it is better to be unhappily married than not to be married at all. If incompatibility of temperament or of ideas makes harmony impossible, then it is better to separate.


Never forget Lessing’s precept: "Equality is always the strongest tie of love." Be ready to accept each other’s plans and suggestions, unless you discern some grave danger in them. Yield to each other in everyday matters: most couples in India quarrel over trivial affairs. Disarm petulance with a sweet smile, and answer small complaints with friendly silence. Do not attempt always to have last word. Reduce personal friction to a minimum, otherwise re-marriage again will be a failure.

Love starts married life, but unselfishness sustains and prolongs it. Be unselfish in thought, word and deed. Work together for noble aims.




The article gave a good analysis of the change in attitudes about remarriages. Divorce as well as remarriage after mutual consent, is a healthy practice which should be acceptable to the society.

HARISH K. MONGA, Ferozepore


Humourous writing

This refers to Rajnish Wattas’s article "I muse to amuse" (August 26). Humour writing appeals to most people. There is so much tension in life that we yearn for a few laughs. These days humour writing is considered more powerful than serious prose.

Humour is the spice of life. It makes life worth living and worth enjoying. Humour writing makes us laugh and a smiling person is always more welcome. In many national newspapers, the first thing readers look for is the cartoonist’s creation. On T.V. channels serials displaying humour and wit attract greater audience. An element of humour provides relaxation. Khushwant Singh has earned popularity due to his humourous style of writing.

This is why humour writing is the most refreshing mode of writing and hence its popularity.

K.L. BATRA, Yamunanagar


Terrified of being alone

Apropos of Taru Bahl’s thought provoking write-up "Terrified of being alone" (September 16). A man in total silence comes closer to God, which helps him regain his inner integrity. But the tragedy is that we fear to tread the path of total silence by being alone. It is because we have forgotten the sound of silence.

In spite of the astounding success in every sphere of life, modern man has to cope with increasing tension and depression because he does not give time to himself to cope with shattering events like death, disease, marital discord, bankruptcy and job loss we must get some time to remain in total silence.

P.L. SETHI, Patiala


Education in India

Randeep Wadehra’s article "Still a lot to learn about education" (September 2) was a painstaking attempt at pointing out what ails India’s education. It’s time we looked into our education system to make it more meaningful.

Our classrooms have failed to produce what is actually required. Many studies have been made to find out where the fault lies. Is it in the system, the teacher, the pupils or in the parents? Perhaps in all, though major players in the wreck-and-run game of education are the teachers and the system.

So far, scant atttention has been given to this vital aspect of national life. If we consider teachers the pivot of the system, their training must be given high priority. At present, our teacher training institutions are not only woefully inadequate, they also fail to impart basic skills of managing a class and handling pupils of varying abilities.

The teacher is committed to first learn and then impart knowledge.

S.S.JAIN, Chandigarh


Good intentions

This refers to "Inability to translate intent into action" by Taru Bahl (August 26).

The problem with many a good-intentioned persons is that he or she volunteers to act as a Good Samaritan in situations which are beyond his or her capacity. Thus, when he fails to render the help promised, the other person feels let down. The moral is, don’t overrate your capacity while offering help to others.

Then there are others who chip in merely to encourage people. When things go away they are held guilty.

Then there are well-meaning people who get sucked into the domestic matters of others and in the process get bruised. One should never mediate in a husband-wife tiff. The couple soon patch up and one’s interventions however friendly, remain an unwelcome memory for the spouse one advised.

Good intentions should be practical as well as tactful.


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