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How to make marriage a success

The article “You need two to make a marriage work”(July31) by Rajshree Sarda was interesting. I fully endorse the core argument that both husband and wife are ethically responsible to make their marriage a success. They must have mutual regard for each other. They have to be tolerant, sensible and receptive towards each other. In this world, one cannot purchase the most precious human sentiment of love, which is unfortunately dying a slow but tragic death.

The modern educated urban woman is not ready to accept unquestionable male dominance in family life. A highly educated and gainfully employed woman still performs domestic chores, looks after her children but she resents the dominant role of her husband in family affairs and registers her protest on several issues on which she does not agree with him.

The Indian husband, despite his education, is not habitual to democratic ways in his actual life. The modern woman is in search of a new identity which Indian husband is not mentally prepared to acknowledge. As a result of this deadlock between husband and wife, divorce cases are on the rise in our society. Earlier only husbands deserted their wives and now even wives walk out of marriage. This is the spirit of the modern woman in India who seems to be tired of playing the second fiddle.

There is another aspect of the problem which must be addressed by the psychologists and sociologists. Like corporate houses, big business companies and Bollywood stars, family relations are also being crucially cemented by the ‘use and throw’ theory. It is easy to initiate a relationship or get married but challenging to lead a successful happy married life. It takes a life-long effort to nurture matrimonial ties. Both husband and wife must show total commitment, unconditional dedication and deep sincerity towards each other.


Kashmir problem

To the editorial “Valley must be saved” (Aug 4), I would like to add that the country must be saved too. It may sound rather simplistic but the common perception among the people is that majority of the ills afflicting us today can be directly or indirectly traced to vote-bank politics and pseudo-secularism marked by selfishness among the powers that be. If there is any light at the end of the tunnel it is yet not visible and may take years, if not decades, to provide a ray of hope. Meanwhile, one can only sit and pray: God save this country! 

Wing Commander SC KAPOOR (retd), Noida


After a long period of normalcy in Srinagar, the disturbances reflect the failure of administration. Mr Omar Abdullah is not mature enough. The separatists are always trying to divert attention from the development of the state. The situation has not been handled properly.

The government should not forget the active involvement of Pakistan in creating troubles in Kashmir. At the same time, firing at the crowds kills innocent persons and should be avoided. 


Absence of MPs

Parliament loses much of its precious time in slogan shouting and unnecessary disruptions every year (editorial, “Back to work: Make best use of Parliament”, Aug 4 ). There should be a ‘no work, no pay’ policy for MPs who disturb routine business in the House. Unfortunately, our MPs don’t care much about their role in Parliament. Absenteeism is rampant when Parliament is in session. In recent times, the absence of MPs in the House has even led to the collapse of Question Hour. Attendance in Parliament must be made compulsory for MPs.

Shivani Arora Monga, Ferozepur City

Tackle corruption

The editorials “Bridges falling down: Rain exposes shoddy work” and “Taint of corruption” (Aug 2) have rightly focussed the attention of readers on the deep rot which has beset the administrative set-up where nothing goes through without a taint and underlying exchange of bribes. It is a sad reflection on the state of affairs of our republic.

Having been associated with the construction of a mega power project, and thereafter with its maintenance for over two decades, I can state with a sense of responsibility that the standards of construction have fallen over the years as the rates of cuts and commissions have increased. The bigger the outlay of the project, the greater is the greed of those who aspire to man these assignments.

But what is of grave concern to the common man in this country is that there seems to be no visible respite from this. There is an urgent need for pooling of efforts of right-thinking people who can spearhead a drive against this evil.

S C CHABBA, Patiala

Women’s triumph

The editorial “Women in uniform: Permanent commission marks a triumph” (Aug 4) was apt. Women are an embodiment of excellence, courage and wisdom. The fact that they are shining in every field bears ample testimony to their capability. It is not that women have become capable overnight. Only earlier they lacked exposure. Now with glass ceiling breaking, they are finding their place under the sun.


Legendary singer

Mohammad Rafi who articulated the joys and sorrows of millions of Indians through his songs, remained an extremely quiet and reserved person in his life (news report, “Rafi lives on for his fans”, Aug 1). Many of his admirers could not fathom how such a reticent person sounded so flamboyant in some of his songs.

His son Shahid Rafi once remarked that when we asked him whether he had actually sung the “yahoo” song, he just smiled and nodded. It was difficult to imagine a gentle person like him shouting “yahoo”. Perhaps, it was Rafi’s humility and willingness to learn that made him such a great singer.He respected all his music directors, whether they were young or experienced.




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