They apply the
soft, healing touch
By K.S. Bajwa
IN the aftermath of the unfortunate
and much discussed sacking of Admiral Bhagwat, Chief of
the Indian Navy, on December 30 98, in a gathering
of sundry bureaucrats, opinions and criticism of Bhagwat
flowed thick and fast. The spirited defence of the Amiral
by his wife, Nilofour Bhagwat, drew a great deal of
adverse comment. Consensus of view was that, she was
interfering in affairs of the Navy, in which she should
have had no role to play. From here, it was only a step
to generalise-" Most senior officers wives,
whether their husbands are in the Army, the Air Force or
the Navy, are much too involved in the affairs of their
husbands respective service and play a dominant
role in their commands.
In fact it is virtually
impossible to get a good annual confidential report and
be assured of career advancement without pleasing the
bosss wife", was the trend of the views
expressed. It was sad that members of countrys
elitist administrative services, held views which could
only emerge out of ignorance and prejudice.
The reality is far removed
from these expressions. The soldiers wives make a
valuable contribution to the mental and emotional health
of their men engaged in a very demanding occupation. It
would be no exaggeration to say that wives have a
valuable role in the development of a cohesive group
spirit, which ultimately affects the fighting spirit of
units.
Throughout the ages,
soldiering has been a male preserve. Even today, despite
the surge for feminine equality, combat in battle largely
remains a male prerogative. In India, despite some much
publicised inroads made into uniform, we have not really
conceded a substantive combat role to the women. Our
fighting forces still remain strictly a male citadel.
Nevertheless, behind the scenes and under the emotional
surface, the delicate female plays a significant part.
It is the mothers, the
wives, the sisters and sweethearts, who proudly send
forth their men into war and provide the much-needed
emotional and often also the spiritual anchor. Besides,
their gentle feminity applies the soft human touch to
dissipate the brutalising fallout of a profession which
has a preoccupation with death and destruction.
Of all the women, perhaps
the soldiers wives occupy a unique position in our
society. They stand on the razors edge of a divide;
on one side is the ethos of a soldiers creed, the
essence of which is to kill and to die for the safety and
glory of a nation, and on the other, is motherhood, a
compelling universal rhythm for continuity of life.
Young and old, these women
face a primeval conflict between sharing the ever
outward-bound yearnings of their men and the closer to
their heart, inward-directed, needs of security of the
family. Despite these conflicting urges, our women, with
their roots reaching deep into the self-effacing culture
of India, impart a soothing cadence to the life in
service.
Their presence is not
merely a bouquet of delightful colours at social
gatherings and sports events. Nor is it only the raising
of the much-needed welfare funds through fetes and fauji
melas; nor the mutual teaching of finer points of
domesticity in the welfare centres run in each unit.
These are but the visible rhythms and patterns of their
participation in the all-embracing life in service.
Of far greater
significance are the mental, emotional and spiritual
havens that the wives provide. In tightly structured and
result-oriented service organisations, in which the very
visible status spawns ambitions and often ruthless
competition, bruised egos and burdened psyches would be
commonplace were the wives not there to provide a healing
touch.
Even in the very male
domain of the command mystique and its interaction, where
we do not concede the female a role, it is often their
soft touch that smoothens the sharp edges of
personalities and restores tranquility.
Service life is a
close-knit community where no one (least of all the home
makers) can stand apart. Ambience of life in service
entities is very closely patterned on our village
societies where every one pitches in to share joys,
hardships and sorrows of those around us. I recall that
when my regiment was stationed at Jhansi, one of the
wives had a very difficult delivery. My wife and the
second-in-commands wife spent a number of days
taking care of her and her children.
In 1964, I was charged
with the task of raising a new regiment. With brash
self-confidence, I accepted the challenge held out by my
Divisional Commander, Maj-Gen (later Lt-Gen) M.L. Thapan
and agreed to complete the raising in six months, as
against a year and-a-half allowed by the Army
Headquarters. While I drove myself mercilessly, I also
often pushed my young and yet untried leaders, to almost
a breaking point.
It was then that my gentle
and unassuming wife would invariably come to my rescue.
With her bevy of other wives, she would very
unobtrusively apply the balm of diversion. An informal
get-together, a simple meal or even a cup of tea would
dissipate tensions and restore bonhomie. They also took
under their wing the 36 odd young officers, fresh from
the training schools and helped groom them into the finer
nuances of shared social harmony.
In fact the cohesive group
identity that we were able to forge, was a great deal due
to their warm-hearted and generous inputs. To these
charming and perceptive women we owed a large part of our
success in raising a fine regiment, which soon earned
laurels in battles we fought in 1965.
A fact of soldiers
lives often overlooked by outsiders and our
bureaucrats are no exception to this is that
soldiers live away from their families for long spells.
Even when located in a station where families are
permitted, outdoor training and other duties take a toll
of the limited time with families. It is therefore,
natural for wives to be closely involved in all
activities except those which are strictly military.
Even in that sphere
opportunities can be created for participation without
jeopardising service norms and security.
For instance in the run up
to the war in December 71, my artillery brigade
located at Talbehat had trained very hard to achieve peak
battle readiness. Though located in a peace station, we
were out in the field much of the time. The culmination
of our training was a field firing exercise at Babina
Ranges. To provide a sense of participation to the
families, we arranged for them to witness the firing of a
fire plan on the final day.
A separate viewing point
organised for them, where commentators explained to them
the whys and wherefores of the fire plan.
When the exercise finished, the families were sent to the
gun positions to lunch with their husbands. Many a gunner
with his chest puffed out, proudly explained to his
spouse how his gun had hit the bulls eye.
The wives too understood
the important role their husbands were playing and were
ready to send them off to the war looming on the horizon.
The soldiers owe much to
their wives and acknowledge it with grace. We treat them
with special consideration, care and courtesy. On their
part while they do so much to make life better for
soldiers, they do not interfere in their service lives.
Undoubtedly, there may be some aberrations. Like Yahya
Khans Pakistan, we too may have our General Ranis.
Fortunately, they are very very few and far between, and
then too a vanishing breed.
This feature was published on March 14,
1999
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