Countering child abuse, victim shaming with grief counselling

Amarjot Kaur

Chandigarh, January 18

“It’s indifference, not grief, that torments victims the most,” says Renu Mathur (58), the first and only grief counsellor to have been officially appointed by the Panchkula police at the Woman Police Station, Sector 5.

In 2017, when Renu volunteered for the role of a counsellor, she didn’t quite expect to be put on the payroll of the Panchkula Commissionerate a year later. “I’ve been a grief counsellor for over 20 years. When I spoke to a senior police official about offering my services to the victims of domestic and sexual abuse, he was quite supportive. For a year, I counselled victims, especially children, under POCSO Act. In 2018, I was put on the payroll. I am now a counsellor for even the staff who work here,” she says.

With an overwhelming sense of sensitivity, Renu puts good policing into perspective, approaching it with compassion and care. “Usually, victims of abuse are shamed by society. The society’s moral yardstick’s a little flawed that way. It tends to point the blame at victims and their families. In most cases, such victims become suicidal and sink into depression, even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). That’s where I step in. It’s my job to counsel the victim and that, in my opinion, is good policing. In fact, I don’t even use the word victim. I’d rather call them survivors,” she says.

Even during the lockdown, as an online grief counsellor for the Haryana State Commission for Women, Renu says she counselled around three persons every day. “The cases of domestic abuse went up during the lockdown. Not only was I available at the Woman Police Station, but also online for the Haryana State Commission for Women. Almost every day, I counselled two-three persons.”