Read the riot act

Nationwide protests against the Citizenship Amendment Act (CAA) and the proposed National Register of Citizens (NRC) have led to large-scale violence, arson, and damage to public and private property.

Just Jugglery managed to eavesdrop on a conversation between two participants in the general mayhem.

1st participant: Thanks to these protests against the CAA and the NRC, I’ve had more fun than I’ve had in years.

2nd participant: So have I. These protests provide a great opportunity for us guys to do what we like doing best, namely beating up people and running amok and smashing up things.

1st participant: It’s that last bit that’s got me a bit worried. Hasn’t that UP CM, Adityanath, said that he’d make people pay for any damage they cause to property?

2nd participant: Yeah, he has said that. But if were you I wouldn’t worry too much about it. We guys will get away scot-free, as we always have in the past.

1st participant: I guess you’re right. But what’ll we do for entertainment once these protests and riots against the CAA and the NRC die down?

2nd participant: You needn’t worry about that either. The great thing about this country is that there’s always something or other to protest and riot about.

1st participant: You’ve got a point there. Someone or the other is always writing a book, or making a film, or painting a picture, or just saying something, which someone else decides has hurt their religious, or some other, sensibility and promptly launches a protest, which leads to a riot.

2nd participant: And our fun begins all over again. And if there isn’t a protest and a riot against hurt religious, or some other, sensibility caused by a book, or a film, or a painting, or something that someone has said, there’s always caste.

1st participant: Caste? How does caste come into protests and riots?

2nd participant: Caste comes into protests and riots thanks to caste reservations. The moment one caste gets reservations for itself, a couple of other castes begin demanding reservations for themselves as well. And if these aren’t forthcoming they take to the streets and start protesting and rioting, and we guys play our part in the whole tamasha and get our kicks.

1st participant: Yeah, I’d forgotten about caste reservations and the protests, and riots, and rastarokos, and general golmal they can lead to, and in which we can take part. But what happens when all the castes have protested and rioted and got their reservations? What happens then?

2nd participant: Not to worry. Some random groups of people are bound to get together and form a brand new caste of their own, for which they will demand reservations, in the absence of which they’ll raise merry hell by protesting and rioting and we’ll be in business again, bashing up everyone and having ourselves a ball.

1st participant: Right, if it weren’t for all these endless protests which give us the chance to run riot it wouldn’t be any fun at all for us guys being cops…