Hands up, disappoints hands down

What can be more exciting than a heist drama which invariably gets us the requisite dose of adrenalin rush? Back in time, there was the Dev Anand-starrer ‘Jewel Thief’ and more recently, Netflix’s Spanish drama ‘Money Heist’, which captured our imagination and set it afire. So, as yet another tale of a suave thief, a con artist at that, drops on Netflix, we are all agog. Only, our enthusiasm doesn’t last too long.

In walks one of our favourites and undisputedly the industry’s finest actor, Jaideep Ahlawat, as Rajan Aulakh. Donning shirtless suits, tattoos and chains adorning his much slimmer neckline, he is quite the crime lord masquerading as an art curator. In a few moments, it is established that he is the villain of the piece. Since he has lost a major chunk of his wealth, he needs to steal Red Sun, a huge African diamond valued at Rs 500 crore, soon to be exhibited in an Indian museum. Only, he is not skilled enough to pull off the job himself and has to hire a jewel thief. Enter our hero Reyan Roy (Saif Ali Khan), whose sleight of hand is very much in sight; yes, stealing the very necklace he has gifted the very beautiful woman he sleeps with.

Thus begins a tale which dumbs down at us every step of the way, explaining every single move of the impending robbery. Red herrings are a staple in a thriller, only if these would create cutting-edge tension. Rather, as things pan out, it reduces exhilaration to the lowest level of boredom. Things are expected to perk up when drama moves from a museum to an aeroplane. No luck, as the explainer that follows robs the film of any surprise elements. And even when a few twists are thrown our way, the predictability is writ all over.

Indeed, the film is mounted well, the sets are lavish and locations moving from Belgrade to Mumbai are plush. From ‘Fighter’ filmmaker Siddharth Anand, director of blockbuster ‘Pathaan’, you anticipate no less than grand, grander, grandest. But, as they say, appearances can be deceptive. While Ahlawat does his very best to pique our interest with his quirky wrongdoings, what can he do in the absence of a strong story or treatment? Well, he kills his pet people and animals without flinching. Yet, strangely enough, he does not make us squirm. We see his provocative ‘unprovoked’ acts coming from a mile, yet, credit goes to him for not reducing his menace-fuelled character to a caricature.

With a forced love angle (Nikita Dutta as Farah looks beautiful, for sure), the otherwise charming and effortless Saif looks more bored than us. High time writers stopped playing on his nawabi antecedents. Even worse, while wooing his lady love, he is handed cheesy dialogues like ‘Tum jo chhu rahi ho woh dikhta nahi hai’ and ‘Main tumhe aur Red Sun dono ko chura le jaaunga’.

Kunal Kapoor’s presence as a smart Alec cop Vikram Patel, hot on the heels of Rehan, raises our expectations, to begin with. But, just as his and his friendly juniors’ chase pursuit draws a blank, so do our presumptions that he will up this cat and mouse game of chase and deception. Only when he utters ‘Rehan has played us…’ are we are forced to echo the same sentiments.

However, it isn’t Rehan with a sentimental backstory who can be blamed for befooling us, but the makers who let us down. If only they had paid heed to the film’s dialogue ‘iss line ki expiry date bahut pehle nikal gai hai’, and breathed some novelty and freshness to the plot. The only intelligent thing the film comes up with is how subtly it tips the hat to the 1967 ‘Jewel Thief’ director, Vijay Anand. The one reason why its namesake should make it to your viewing list is Ahlawat. A pity, others, including Kunal and Kulbushan Kharbanda as the morally outraged father of Reyan, are wasted. Why a doctor’s son has to turn to illegal ways beats us, as it would any upright father.

While the promos call the film ‘a high octane battle of wits and wills’, the sparring between Saif’s character and Ahlawat’s lacks real bite or spite.

Despite style and speed, this ‘Jewel Thief’ leaves you thoroughly disappointed. For, substance is what goes sorely missing in this much anticipated film, making you lament and wonder when Bollywood would find its mojo again.