Bringing together love, and customs

Last month, I received an invitation from a family friend for his son’s wedding. While poring over the details of the wedding programme, elegantly inscribed in gilded lettering on the glossy card, I felt delighted to find that the bride-to-be was from the Philippines. Her overseas origin had aroused in us more curiosity than to be merely in formal attendance at the ceremony.

The wedding was a week away. So, we hurriedly finalised our sartorial choices. Bubbling with excitement, we arrived at the venue. We were eager to see the bride of a different nation tying the nuptial knot — cutting across boundaries of nationalities and religion — to the local lad.

Dressed up with great panache in local wedding trousseau, teamed with bridal chuda, jewellery with a kaleera merrily dangling from her hand, and red vermillion in her parting had virtually made her a Kangra bride! Demurely facing the gathering of glitzy guests, the bride, despite being alien to the local customs, remained stoic throughout, performing the rituals gracefully.

What impressed us about the wedding was that as opposed to the sickening rage of the age — ostentation, flaunting NRI tag and giving a toss to the age-old customs — it had been arranged in deference to the local customs which struck an emotional chord with all.

Lastly, when friends and relatives made a beeline for photo-ops, my wife too got excited. Due to language barrier, she prodded me to accompany her to the bride. While the DJ was playing Punjabi hits and Bacchus lovers were submerged in bliss, I too, proposed a toast to the couple. Seeing my Dutch courage, my wife grabbed the opportunity and gestured towards the couple. I stumbled to the stage and we both blessed the couple.

While at home, I had secretly rehearsed chosen Filipino terms for the occasion that I had learnt from a friend from the Philippines during a four-month course in the teaching of English at the Regional Institute of English, Chandigarh, in 1989.

So, to surprise the bride and make her feel at home, I said, ‘Masayang kasal’ (shaadi mubarak ho), quickly adding ‘congratulations sayo’ (badhai ho aapko). She looked up and smiled quickly, reciprocating our felicitations with ‘salamat’ (thanks).

Before my wife gave another nasty nudge, I urged her ‘isang larawan kasama ang aking asawa’ (ek photo meri wife ke saath). She fondly obliged her. Driven by native instinct, my wife grabbed her hand and motioned her to join the throbbing bhangra.

To everyone’s surprise, the bride from the Philippines shyly cut a celebratory caper among us hillbilly folks and we balle-balle’d away to the glory of the couple.