Look before you take the yoga leap

IN December 2006, we — a group of Army and naval officers — were attending a short course at the Institute of Technology Management, Mussoorie. A post-lunch session on ‘knowledge management’ was particularly soporific. The topic was theoretical, the instructor was speaking in a monotone and most of the officers were dozing off. But I was determined to stay awake, though my eyelids were getting heavier.

Desperately, I recalled a yoga technique learnt during a Baba Ramdev-inspired session. You sit upright, spine straight, chest out, hands on knees, eyes wide open, etc. to stay awake.

Miraculously, I felt alert. My head stood tall above a sea of drooping ones. The instructor looked at me with a hint of appreciation, probably assuming that I was the most attentive student in the classroom. Suddenly, the lecture seemed to get interesting. He gave an example of how to apply knowledge management for procuring forklift trucks and introduced a guest speaker: Nicole Harrison from Gammon Forklifts Pvt Ltd.

Nicole walked in like a breeze — tall, elegant, dressed in a cream blazer over a light pink shirt and black trousers. With her crisp British accent, sharp features and radiant blue eyes, she seemed like a BBC newsreader moonlighting as a corporate executive. My drowsiness disappeared instantly.

Strangely, my classmates remained slouched in their chairs. What a tragedy, I thought. I decided to ask a question just to attract her attention: “What’s the turnover of your company?” She smiled charmingly, promised to reply over pastries during high tea and called me “my dear sir.” All this gave me goosebumps.

After the lecture, we moved to the lounge where company brochures and snacks were laid out. Nicole came over, smiled and said, “Your face looks familiar.” We talked playfully.

Then, as she guided me toward the pastry table, she held my arm softly. But soon, her grip became firmer. Then painful. And then unbearable. Suddenly, I was jolted awake.

It was Arun, my course mate, shaking me violently. “Wake up! You’ve been sleeping upright like a statue for half an hour! The instructor kept looking, hoping I’d wake you up.”

In shock, I looked around. No Nicole. No forklift trucks. No pastries. Just a classroom full of sleepy officers and an instructor wrapping up his lecture. I had dozed off somewhere after “we’ll understand this with an example…” And all that followed? It was just a dream.

Later, I confirmed with Arun — there was no Gammon Forklifts Pvt Ltd; the only ‘Gammon’ we knew was a construction company. Over dinner, we laughed heartily.

Lesson learnt: Never try a yoga exercise in public unless you have practised it in private — especially the part about moving your toes. This was the step I had forgotten to perform. And yes, thank you, Baba Ramdev, for one of the most entertaining naps I’ve ever had.