Shared bonds of life's learning

Fairly recently, through a common friend, I was introduced to a lady whose first remark was, “I have been planning to surprise you by ringing your doorbell.”

Seeing the slightly taken-aback look on my face, she qualified that opening statement by explaining, “My mother and aunts were taught by your parents and speak very fondly of them. When I was coming to Shimla, they asked me to get in touch.”

Both my parents passed away several years ago, but their memory — apart from what we treasure — comes back time and again through the hundreds they taught over the decades. On their passing, we received calls and messages — quite literally — from all over the world. On social media, a substantial number of my ‘connections’ are people whom I’ve never met but were, at different points of time, students of one or both parents.

Both were teachers in an old-fashioned way. They abhorred the idea of tuitions and were quite firm in the belief that the teaching of a specific subject belonged to the classroom and on the premises of the institution and not to swot-shops where marks and grades swung in direct proportion to the time spent with, and money spent on, a tutor. Yes, if someone had doubts about what had been taught in classroom, they were welcome to stay on after class or come home.

Often enough, those who came to clarify those ‘doubts’ stayed on for a meal or as in the case of one, for several. He was one of my father’s brighter students and would somehow wind his way every weekend and stay on for dinner. One day, I asked my father why that boy came when he knew everything. My mother and father exchanged a smile and said, “He misses home and likes the food here, which is why he comes. ‘Clearing doubts’ is just an excuse for a home-cooked meal.” That boy was just one of several who shared meals, confidences and apart from finding a pair of shoulders to cry on, left with sage advice to sort out whatever they faced in other aspects of their lives, enriching themselves with fortitude and a renewed resolve.

Time and again, one is reminded that a teacher’s family is more than those who share just blood and name. It is those with whom they share the bonds of life’s learning and love.