Tantalising catwalk in the hills

THE civil service generally evokes the image of a boring, ponderous, self-centred creed far removed from any ‘humour in uniform’. Yet during over three decades as a civil servant, I encountered umpteen mirthful instances.

I recall an episode that occurred within two months of joining service and a fortnight after my whirlwind wedding. An urgent message directing probationers to report for a three-day rifle and pistol shooting stint at Junga, near Shimla, jerked me out of my honeymoon reverie.

The public administration institute’s vehicle, a mutant relic of a truck and a rickety bus, trundled on, the engine roaring deafeningly. Suddenly, it jolted to an unscheduled halt in a deserted stretch. Our bus driver was looking heavenwards fearfully, chanting the Gayatri Mantra in a hypnotic trance.

We followed his gaze to see a black cat sauntering across the road. “We can’t go any further,” he declared. “This cat has crossed our path.” “So what?” we asked him. “Such superstitions are antiquated! And we are getting late!”

With his moustache quivering angrily, he dismissed us contemptuously, “Yeh modern kalyug ke zamaane waale kya jaante hain?” He declared that he would not budge an inch and invite the fury of the gods merely to take these sceptical heretics to their destination.

Our driver was no dithering Hamlet. As persuasion failed, inspiration suggested that such superstitions have an upaaye — an expedient solution! Condescendingly, he declared that we could proceed only if a vehicle from the opposite direction crossed us. That seemed simple enough!

All eyes turned to watch the horizon, even as we knew that Junga was an unfrequented route. Just then the sun shone on an old jeep trundling up the incline towards us. As we held our breath, the driver guffawed in sadistic amusement. He had spotted the same cat! This feline villain stretched languorously, turning its half-open eyes towards the approaching jeep. If it crossed the path of the jeep and that driver was also a diehard believer, we may have to trudge miles on foot to reach Junga. We were at the mercy of this cat.

The creature looked poised to jump across the vehicle’s path. But in a flash it about-turned. The jeep crossed us! The spell was broken! We shouted joyfully as our driver turned on the ignition to resume our journey.

What had saved the day? We turned to see the cat triumphantly twirling an unfortunate rat — the little one had got martyred before the cat tried to complete its ominous road-crossing! No sashaying model could have rivalled this tantalising catwalk that had held us hostage.