‘Sleep divorce’: Why more couples are choosing separate beds for a better relationship

For most couples, sleeping in the same bed is considered a hallmark of intimacy.

But for a growing number of people sharing a bed every night can lead to sleeplessness, stress, and even relationship strain.

An article in Vogue, India, which first appeared on vogue.co.uk, tells us how the concept of the “sleep divorce” is gaining traction, especially among millennials.

Millennials are those born between the early 1980s and the late 1990s, members of Generation Y. For one couple, the shift began with a simple realisation that night-time was turning into a battleground.

“By day, I consider myself a kind, functioning adult—I smile at strangers, hold doors, and ask how people are doing,” said one partner. “But at night, it’s like a switch flips. I become hypersensitive to noise, light, movement—anything. Even a distant phone buzz can jolt me awake.”

This change wasn’t always part of their routine. In their twenties, the couple stayed up late smoking cigarettes, playing records, and collapsing into bed without a second thought. But as they got older and gave more importance to rest, one partner being noisy created tension.

“My anxiety would trigger her anxiety,” they explained. “It became a feedback loop and neither of us could sleep.”

In 2024, they decided to try something that once felt a taboo, sleeping in separate rooms on nights when rest was most needed.

While the idea initially carried a sense of shame, often associated with relationship troubles, it quickly proved to be a relief.

“Just knowing we had the option removed the pressure,” they said.

“Most nights, we still sleep together. But when we don’t, we sleep better. And we wake up kinder, more patient—better versions of ourselves.”

A 2023 study revealed that nearly one in four married millennials occasionally sleep in separate beds, while 19% do so consistently.

The trend is being further validated by hotel data: Hilton’s 2025 Trends Report found that 63% of travellers sleep better when alone, and 37% opt for separate beds during vacations.

Experts, like sleep psychologist Wendy Troxel, even suggest rebranding the term. “Sleep alliance” may be a better fit, she argues, since the practice is about strengthening relationships through better rest—not weakening them.

And the research backs her up. A study from Ohio State University found that sleep-deprived couples are more prone to hostility, while another in 2021 linked poor sleep with elevated cortisol levels during conflict. In other words, "sleep loss doesn’t just leave us tired—it makes us harder to love and be loved by".

And yet, the urge to share a bed remains. Those small, tender moments waking up to half-asleep smile, feeling warmth beside us, the quiet connection that comes before the day begins are big. But if sleeping apart now and then means more rested version then it’s a compromise couples are willing to make, as it is helping them stay together.