Cricketing phraseology

These are the days of the IPL and Covid, of playing within the ‘V’ and outplaying the other ‘V’ (virus). Teams are in their bio-secure bubbles and every precaution is being taken to ensure the virus does not ‘slip’ out of hand and subsequently flies off in a ‘spin’, ‘wide’ enough for it to become ‘uncatchable.’ As far as producing players for domestic tourneys is concerned, Gurdaspur has earned its ‘duck’. Youngsters here are more interested in bets and betting rather than knowing the difference between the eight legs-short, fine, deep fine, long, square, short square, forward short and backward short. Their only curiosity is to lay a wager and see, at ‘the draw of stumps’, if they have ‘swept’ it or not. Everything else is a ‘silly-point’. It is only in the betting ‘field’ that youngsters hit ‘sixes’ leaving the cops ‘stumped’ at their audacity. One could see a lot of ‘maidens’ and ‘night –watchmen’ but the ‘Chinaman’ and his ‘Chinese cut’ were not to be seen when one went for a ‘drive’ at night through a ‘gully’ of the town during the telecast of an IPL match. Wearing a mask as a ‘cover’ on your face is mandatory. An ‘extra-cover’ will only add to your precautions from the ‘sweeping’ virus which, in any case, is on a ‘record-setting’ spree. With so many cops in the ‘outfield’, youngsters, like the fielders standing in the ‘deep’, were always well behaved. They are so because they know their ‘boundaries’ and will try to ‘play’ within them. Bets were placed on a bowler bowling a ‘googly’. Many thought it was Google’s better half, so much so for the ‘run out’ knowledge of these youngsters! For these punters, ignorance was bliss and hence ‘floaters’ became ‘flippers’ in ‘flight’ and ‘bouncers’ became ‘beamers’ as ‘bodyline’ came back to haunt the fan and the fanatic. ‘Glances’ were exchanged whenever a police car would pass. And then somebody in the crowd asked, what is the difference between a bad batsman and Cinderella? Pat came the reply: Cinderella knew exactly when to leave the ball! Again somebody asked why cricketers are good at ironing shirts. Because they know how to spot the ‘creases’, was the curt reply. That was a ‘point’ well made. Questions were also raised as to how in Covid bad fielders remain healthy. The quick reply was: they do not ‘catch’ anything at least not the virus! In the heat of the moment, two fans started a quarrel, prompting a ‘third-man’ to intervene. As dusk slipped into the night, fans wanted to have drinks but could not because they did not have ‘openers’. At midnight, the crowd was ready to go to its ‘cow-corner’ but remained wary of any ‘chin-music’ that may be given to them by the cops. By the time I came out of the ‘gully’ my head was ‘spinning’ but my knowledge of the game had been greatly enhanced. Now, for me a ‘square cut’ is a symmetrical injury while a ‘tail ender’ is the final paragraph. ‘Hot spot’ is a sophisticated nightclub and ‘reverse swing’ is playing the orchestra backwards! And I also learnt that a ‘bat’ is the only animal which always plays cricket. And one thing that kept ‘spinning’ in my mind was why cricket stadiums have floodlights. Perhaps, because ‘bats’ are nocturnal. So when in Gurdaspur, be it east or west, cricket is the best.

Cops on the prowl

Gurdaspur shopkeepers were given a high voltage shock by the cops when senior officers took it upon themselves to ensure the timings of closing their establishments at 8 pm meant 8 pm. No quarters were given and none asked for when SSP Nanak Singh led his team into the labyrinthine lanes on Wednesday. Some traders developed cold feet when they saw police vehicles coming their way. However, the smooth-talking SSP allayed their fears and told them the “cops will not react if they act on time.” Hence, 8 pm means 8 pm. Not a minute more and not a minute less. As a corollary, the police will act only if the traders do not react to their instructions. And everybody knows what exactly police ‘actions and reactions’ mean. The shopkeepers apparently had in mind Gerson’s law which states that “an advantage should be taken of every situation regardless of ethics.” And, it seems, the police chief had Cheops law in mind when he zig-zagged his way through the alleys. The law states that “Nothing in this world ever works on schedule.” The SSP’s ‘road-show’ had the desired effect. The next day, shutters were pulled down five minutes ahead of the given time. After 8 pm it was an eerie silence that prevailed all around. The perennially notorious liquor shop owners, too, bent backwards to ensure the cops directives were adhered to. Round one goes to the police.

Saini at the helm

Traders have something to cheer about as it was after a long time the state government reconstituted the Punjab Traders Board. In its new form it has a Sujanpur youth Congress leader Puneet Saini Pinta (pic) as its chairman. He says he will act as a via-media between the traders and the Excise department. His biggest challenge is to ensure the traders face no difficulties in implementing the GST. “If there are any misgivings, I will take them up with the Excise department,” he said. On the political firmament, Pinta says he is surely in contention for the Congress ticket from Sujanpur assembly seat. “The Saini community has a sizable presence in the area and senior Congress leaders are aware of this development,” he said.

(Contributed by Ravi Dhaliwal)