“Everything I planned for is a lie”

Kashmira Gander

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Mums and dads have revealed the goals they swore they’d stick to as parents, but realised were impossible to keep — sometimes just hours after their little bundle of joy arrived.

Bans on junk food, sticking to bedtime routines and negotiating toddlers out of tantrums is easier said than done, as mums and dads have revealed on the Parenting section of Reddit.

The debate was sparked by Reddit user redheadstartchild, who wrote: “I said I would always offer veggies and well-balanced meals. Now my child prefers muffins. What about you?”

The top rated commenter BinkerStinkerstein wrote: “I thought we would be no TV until 2, no processed snacks/ food, no pink/ gendered stuff, sleeping in her own room at six weeks. Now TV is life, the other night she just ate ketchup and mustard for dinner with her fingers, I have lost the battle on pink, and we are rapidly approaching her second year in our bed. Everything I planned for is a lie. This shit is seriously just about survival.”

For some parents, they happily gave up trying to be perfect within hours.

“I was going to use only cloth diapers and glass bottles,” said HottieMcHotHot. “That lasted less than two  hours!” “I was going to breastfeed. three days in, I was like nope,” said Knitacular.

Another user called Bunnies_and_Ducks wrote of how she used to get “so annoyed” when her mother mixed up her and her sister’s names.

“I now mix up everyone's name. I just asked my older son to throw the baby's diaper away and instead of calling him by his name, I called him Chewy, which is our cat's name.” Another common source of guilt for parents was saying “because I said so” when their children disagreed.

“My kid even told me the other night after a long talk about safeties of working out that he'll never lecture his kid and I legit laughed in his face,” wrote wonder_woman_1017. “I also now get why my mom just said “because I said so”. So many tiring fights about things I try to explain.”

Food was another recurring theme. Knitacular. “l was going to offer her healthy, adult food. She subsists on a diet of chicken nuggets, French fries, macaroni and cheese and popsicles.”

“Juice. I was so sanctimonious about it. Kiddo is sitting on the sofa drinking a capri sun as we speak,” said FoxenTheSnow.

And regardless of the problems, parents were all unashamed to admit that their job is a tough one, and that it is inevitable for expectations to fall away quickly.

Dr Matt Woolgar of the Institute of Psychiatry, Psychology & Neuroscience at King's College London, recently said that parents need not worry too much about the details of their parenting, as long as they are trying their best.

“You have to keep telling yourself as a parent you’re doing your best and there are lots of opportunities for change and nothing is definite. There are a lot of opportunities to make things better.”

— The Independent