Golfing glee and guilty gloom

Rajbir Deswal

My colleagues had been pestering with me for a long time, nearly imploring, that I must start playing golf. Somehow, I didn’t like to be sucked in the game, since I thought I had better things to do like scribbling, singing and travelling. Whenever we came across the wives of those who play golf, we found them sulking over the long absence of their spouses and the honourable wives being labelled as ‘golf widows’.

However, avoiding the hallowed game couldn’t last long. A friend of mine, Col Amrik Dhillon, who lives in the same sector of Panchkula where I do, prevailed over me. Using his Army man gusto and persistent persuasion, he pushed me to the golf-range for practice.

Lo and behold, in about a fortnight, I qualified to go along Col Dhillon and Rakesh Nangia, another rabid golfer, who was a chartered accountant with the Government of Punjab. This duo began making me improve my game further and fine-tuning my tees, swings, stance and grip. There is a prescribed dress code for the golfers and one can ill-afford to go plus or a minus in their sartorial presentation on the course. Golfers’ cap is designed in such a way that your eyes see only the ball in front of you and there can be no other distraction. They say, there are three rules to play golf. Rule one — eyes on the ball; rule two — eyes on the ball; and rule three — eyes on the ball !

The golfers ascribe different callings to the roll of the ball. It should dough right or left. It should sit on the greens. It should go tight or taut when putted in the hole. It should be dug out of a bunker. If stuck in the hardy rough or pacca track, you are entitled to a free-drop. In the fairway, it’s playable. Even the backswing and the follow through count a lot. That’s how I got educated in playing good golf.

I was much amused when Rakesh Nangia explained to me the most common excuses a golfer made for his bad performance . These included complaining about having a bad caddy; playing with used golf balls; finding a good lie bad swing; also a good swing but bad lie; Course being too crowded; it being bad weather; unfavourable wind direction; long uncut grass, etc. I added one more to the list of Nangia’s list of excuses, “Come on, in fact the day itself was bad!” Nangia also poked fun when he felt bad initially, on being asked to produce a ‘Handicap Certificate’ — understanding the requirement, in literal terms.

I felt very happy when in the early hours one would be there on the greens and one wouldn’t miss the sight of the rising Sun. A huge line up of mostly older men and women, seeking to fight their aging with tee shots executed well and walk undertaken, and at the end of it all, feeling relaxed and entertained—is all that gladdens ones heart. Although the Panchkula Golf Club is dominated by Army officers, mostly retired, there are other professionals who you get to meet and play with. The flying Sikh, Milkha Singh, at the age of 90 is a regular golfer here.

All this is a rosy picture of the golfing scenario, but I cant help describing a scene that often makes me gloomy, whenever I reach or leave the golf-course. There is a huge line-up of young boys, mostly less than twenty years in age, in tattered clothes and weather-beaten footwear, to be engaged as caddies. Some of them are school students and have to pay their tuition fee out of their own earning. I don’t think all of them get engaged; some have to go back without finding work enough for their daily bread. Well, unemployment for these young brats being one of my own excuses to be a regular on the golf course — I will engage at least one caddy and give him employment for a day! That’s what brings me to the golf course or so I like to think.