Murders in the name of honour

Ranjit Powar
Psychologist

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A triple murder in Tarn Taran, Punjab, was reported on July 29. The murders were in retaliation to a choice marriage between a boy and a girl from different castes. Both are Sikh families, following a faith which denounces caste. There have been reportedly 300 cases of honour killing in the country in the past three years. Caste or community groups in Haryana hold kangaroo courts to pass punishment on couples who choose to marry in violation of the set social codes. Khap panchayats have dissolved marriages, forced rape victims to marry their rapists, expelled families from villages, and condoned honour killings through social approval, forcing the Supreme Court to come down heavily on them. Women have been dictated to dress traditionally and desist from talking to men outside the family. 

Strangely, many a family’s honour is related to the social and sexual behaviour or choices of its women. When and how did this come to be? Through what logic did Indian women become the torchbearers of the family honour? It’s intriguing that instead of a man's honour being defined by his ethics, conduct and merit, it came to be reflected in the behaviour of his sister, daughter or wife! On the contrary, a woman’s honour remained untouched by the behaviour of the males of her family.

Many social groups justify murders of erring women relatives in the name of avenging the family honour. The terminology which dubs such killings as ‘honour killings’ is in itself an indirect validation of murder in the name of honour. A strict code of conduct is enforced upon girls from infancy. It mainly entails obedience, chastity, endurance and virginity. This code is often internalised by older women for gaining acceptability and merit in a patriarchal system. 

Women may provoke honour-linked violence through forming sexual alliances, refusing arranged marriages, asking for divorce, infidelity, dressing inappropriately, leaving the home without permission, dating or speaking to men who are not family members, being victims of rape or even behaving or dressing  provocatively. Any of these transgressions will result in scandal and gossip in the community, which will directly result in loss of honour for the male members, for whom honour is gained through the control and dominance they exert over females and younger males in the family. 

Collective sanction by the community to control and regulate women’s behaviour, freedom and sexual choices gives it validity and acceptability in the guise of culture or tradition. In a society where the norms continue to be set by men, such controls are a reflection of deep-rooted patriarchy with the overt motive of protecting women. The underlying fact is that the male of a patriarchal system wants to keep the strings of the woman in his hands, and cleverly terms this suppression as ‘honour’. Mythical characters like Sita, Parvati and Savitri are held up as examples of virtue and duty for women to emulate. Interestingly, Krishna's consort Radha is never quoted as such an example.

The prevalence of caste and religion prejudices gives greater acceptance to the right of parents and brothers to control the choice of a partner by their daughters. They must in no way step out of caste and religious boundaries. Over the last some years, self-styled protectors of Indian culture have taken it upon themselves to heckle and attack youngsters who are seen as violating the sacrosanct ‘Indian’ traditions. Self-styled vigilante groups like the Bajrang Dal, RSS, Dukhtaran-e-Milat target youngsters celebrating Valentine’s Day or sitting together in parks. The police choose to look the other way, and at times also support their hooliganism or actively indulge in moral policing.

Deeply entrenched notions of patriarchal control have been politically exploited to target and terrorise certain minority groups. The myth of ‘love jihad’ has been promoted by extremist groups to create insecurity and anger in the Hindu community against Muslims by accusing them of following a hidden agenda wherein Hindu girls are enticed by Muslim boys. No such evidence has come forth in the court to date. 

Many minorities like Christians, Coorgis and north-eastern communities are as much a part of this country as the Hindus. Their cultural norms are much more open and liberal in terms of sexual choices and intermingling of sexes. The Nair community of Kerala enjoyed much sexual freedom and could even keep relations with multiple partners at a time. Most communities in the North-East states allow girls to choose their mates. These communities do not have a noticeable incidence of rape or killings. 

What gives anyone the right to disregard such liberal traditions and impose a subjective code of conduct as ‘Indian’? These self-styled protectors of a mythical 'Indian culture' choose to overlook that Indian is not synonymous with Hindu. Furthermore, that Hinduism never propagated prudish norms in myth or reality.

The most damaging of restrictive and suppressive attitudes are those propagated by teachers in rural and small town schools. It is commonplace to find girls and boys strictly segregated in co-educational schools. Boys and girls have been known to be reprimanded and even beaten for so much as speaking to each other. In one rural school in Bathinda district of Punjab, an affair between two schoolmates escalated to a feud between two village panchayats. The girl was withdrawn from the school and the panchayat demanded rustication of the boy, who had to take his exams under police protection. Such unhealthy, patriarchal environments instil perverted concepts of ‘honour’, encouraging violence, abuse and even murder. 

The Adolescence Education programme (AEP) was a sex education programme designed by the Ministry of Human Resource Development and National AIDS Control Organisation. It faced opposition in various states, including Gujarat, Madhya Pradesh, Maharashtra, Karnataka and Rajasthan, which refused to allow it in their schools. Is it a surprise that many of these states are notorious for the high numbers of honour killings?  According to the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB), between 2014 and 2015, the number of honour killings in India leapt up by a whopping 798 per cent!

Paradoxically, rape is the fourth most common crime in a country which is obsessively concerned with safeguarding the ‘honour’ and virtue of its women!  India has an average of 106 rapes a day and four in 10 victims are minors. The conviction rate for rape remains a shameful 25.5 per cent. Eve-teasing is so prevalent that recently, girls from a school in Punjab appealed to the high court for safety. This, in a society which claims to regard women as its ‘honour’ and worships them as goddesses! 

It seems that a schizophrenic chasm runs somewhere between the collective Indian social psyche. Entertainment media like TV and cinema focus overwhelmingly on romantic themes in keeping with public taste. The youth may watch cheap romance on celluloid and fantasise, but god help them if they opt to have normal relationships or friendships with the opposite sex. Such conflicting attitudes reflect a serious faultline in the concept of what is pushed as ‘Indian culture’ or morality. 

Natural instinctual behaviour may be regulated and controlled within reasonable limits, but forced suppression and criminalisation of human urges promote distorted and violent expression and take on forms of a social evil. Let’s wake up to the fact that culture is not static; it is a dynamic process which must move in tandem with the larger global, social and technological scenario. Hypocrisy and double standards cannot be camouflaged in the name of a pseudo culture. Indian society must shed patriarchal attitudes and be honest, upfront and liberal to be healthy, safe and progressive. Therein will lie the safety and honour of women.