Beat the troll, play the dhol

Amarjot Kaur

Funky Monkey just tiptoed into bee’s hive, where it sat reading I am a Troll by Swati Chaturvedi. “I’d saved the pdf on my American gadget— ‘US’Bee,” it says while showing the author’s tweet to the ape.

Swati ChaturvediVerified account@bainjal 

(Swati Chaturvedi Retweeted The Hindu)

Hope the rape threat trolls are arrested but, have zero hope of it by @DelhiPolice who stood by & encouraged the thugs of ABVP!

For backdrop, Bee explains, “The controversy that triggered this backlash from Chaturvedi is about the violent clashes at Delhi University’s Ramjas College where ABVP, BJP’s student wing, beat up peaceful protesters.”

It was in the wake of this incident that Lady Sri Ram College student Gurmehar Kaur, a Kargil martyr’s daughter, initiated a social media campaign #StudentsAgainstABVP” which has gone viral. Reportedly, she received rape threats soon after she changed her Facebook profile picture holding a placard that read, “I am a student from Delhi University. I am not afraid of ABVP. I am not alone. Every student of India is with me. #StudentsAgainstABVP”, which became a media trend this week.

Gurmehar had previously posted another message which read, “Pakistan did not kill my dad, war killed him.” To this, Virender Sehwag replied with a photo of him holding a placard that read: “I didn’t score two triple centuries, my bat did” and it was captioned:

Virender Sehwag @virendersehwag 

Bat me hai Dum !#BharatJaisiJagahNahi

“Well, seems like every woman who dares to speak her mind out loud must bee prepared to get trolled,” smirks the bee, who is planning to start its own internet publication by the name “Bee(for)e you”! Funky Monkey knows this one is only but inspired by Julian Assange’s Wikileaks. “You ‘bee’ the Fifth Estate?,” laughs Funky Monkey!

Face the book 

So here’s a joke—what did the toilet paper say to a toothbrush complaining about its job? Answer: “Try mine!”

So, are you getting more s**t than you deserve? Bee suggests you leave a badass resignation letter like this employee who wrote his resignation on a toilet paper, which became a ‘symbol of how his company treated him’. The unknown man’s letter has attracted a number of comments on Reddit and has gone viral on social media. “We’ll get the communist union leader Worker Bee to sign on the honey‘sickle’,” bee laughs. 

Tweet trails

Well, the bee’s been ogling at Rahul Khanna’s Instagram page for a visual treat, but this time the actor became an Internet sensation, courtesy his break-up with an airline company. The actor shared a link to his blogpost, where he wrote a break-up letter to an airline company. It reads, “Can you believe we’ve been together well over two decades now? How time flies. I’m not sure if you know this, but you were my first... It was with you that, as a nervous teenager on my way to college, I did it for the first time-traveled on my own. It was so exciting-I felt like a grown man. I can still hear your roar as we both took off. Being inside you just felt right. Ever since then, you’ve had my heart.” It seems that the airline misplaced his luggage 10 months ago, and no action has been taken so far. “It’s been nearly ten months, you still haven’t returned my possessions and seem inexplicably defensive whenever I ask for any kind of information. You won’t take my calls, you ignore my messages, you refuse to answer my questions. What went wrong between us? Was it something I said?” Well, seems like someone shares bee’s sense of melodramatic humour... “Kuch kuch hota hai, Rahul. Tum nahi samjhogay...” says the bee!

Rahul Khanna @R_Khanna I gave you my heart but you let me down, then lied & cheated. And that’s why we’re breaking up. 

Tube tales

Now, if you are up for YouTube video-binging, look for the brave man of Beijing— a cop who dragged the burning cylinder out of a house and stopped the fire from spreading. Even the tigers in China are making news with a thrilling video in which they chase and bring down a drone. There’s a viral red-carpet moment where Chrissy Teigen dropped to her knees and embraced Sunny Pawar, the little eight-year-old child actor of Oscar-nominated film Lion. Also, Aamir Khan’s new ad on gender equality has gone viral for all the right reasons. But our bee’s dancing to Dilli de Sardaar Boys, a Punjabi rendition of Weeknd’s chart topping song Starboy. Don’t forget to wear your dancing shoes. It’s tumbi time!

amarjot@tribunemail.com