Dear exams, you bring too much pressure…
Mona
The morning of Class X board exams on March 5, the newspapers also carried another headline, ‘Class X girl ends her life’.
Exam stress is real in India and sadly, a young life was lost because the pressure was too much to bear. To put the blame on parents isn’t right either, for they themselves reel under immense stress – humongous syllabus, stakes on marks running high and the issue of social prestige that exams become. Some teachers, parents and students share on how they keep their cool while putting the best foot forward.
Stick to routine and de-stress
We try to maintain the regular routine. There is study time and play time, and TV time as well. I usually keep a watch on how well prepared my daughter is. How much syllabus has she covered and what’s left? And if she takes too long being with her friends, I do remind her gently to get back to studies. Still, exam stress is real and at least, for our family shopping is the best stress buster. Yesterday, Mannat wanted shoes, she got a pair, I got one too and so did my mother-in-law. Though we curtail social engagements in the examination month, the effort is to keep the routine as normal as possible so that the kid is comfortable.
Dr Mamta Sharma, dentist
Let’s have a study date
One must inculcate the value of study in a child and not lose mind - yours and kid’s – during the examination days. I make sure that neither I nor my wife ever force her to sit and study. Our daughter needs gentle guidance on what’s to be done and she copes up. We maintain the play hours and ensure that during exam days, there is an evening outing for sure. Sometimes we also carry books to the park. In fact, she studies the best when out. On the swings we manage to do maximum of the syllabus.
Jaideep Aggarwal, principal, AIT Polytechnic
Never equate their worth with marks
First things first, the elders must first bring their expectations down. Ideally, teachers and parents should prepare students through the year for boards. Teachers, by preparing kids for exams and parents by supporting them through. Still nothing lost. Make sure your child knows that his/her worth is way more the marks one fetches. And there is life beyond Class 10th or 12th. Give them a stress free environment to prepare well, and make them know, you are with them.
Indu, school teacher
Look out for the warning signs
Warning signs in a child are hard to miss – kids suffering from stress usually go quiet, listless, get into a shell. When a child doesn’t wish a parent, that’s a tell tale sign but parents go, ‘Iska to dimag kharab ho gaya hai’. Look at the routine of any child who is in ninth, tenth, eleventh or twelfth grade – morning is school, followed by tuitions, home by 8 or 9, homework next; where is the time for any interaction? When do parents get to spend time with their ward?
The solution...
First, a teacher or parent should know as to how much can a child score. Asking a 40 percenter to get 50 per cent is immense pressure. Rather than giving them this undue stress, sit with the child, chart a timetable, keep tabs and let them know that you are there regardless of whatever marks they get. Parents must also make peace with whatever their child is capable of. Not everyone can get 90 per cent, find your ward a right fit, a nation needs all – 40 percenter or 60 or 90. Know this and make your child understand this too. Help them achieve their true potential.
Punita Singh, counsellor
mona@tribunemail.com
