The good, the bad, and the funky!

Amarjot Kaur

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Lately, Bee’s parents have been suffering from high-bud pressure; seems like the eves-dropping Hood-pecker filled them up on bee’s tales at the Bee-Err Bar. They drop in at the hive just in time when the Bee was tweeting about the latest video posted on Indian cricketer Virat Kohli’s Instagram. “Hi, B-ad (Bee likes to replace the D of dad with B. It’s for the pun-sake)! Look at this video of a three or four-year- old girl being harassed by a woman while trying to teach her some basic mathematical counting. Quite rough, ey?” says the bee, innocuously. 

“It’s that age-old debate on spare the rod, spoil the child. Plus, some children need to be straightened up. So, before I go from ‘Bad’ to mad, you better mind that place you go to— the Bee-Err Bar. Might as well become like Rahul Doshi – an Indian origin boy who became UK's Child Genius in a quiz competition. You, Bee-ffoon!”

Enter, Funky Monkey:

Well, Daddy Bee, the boy’s father attracted some social media fury for laughing at a wrong answer given by his son's closest rival, Ronan, in a tense finale."#ChildGenius an adult laughing at children getting a question wrong shocking behaviour. Shame on you Rahul's father," read one of the comments on Twitter.

Now, the time for ‘the father of all clichés’— we bet you saw it coming: “Look at your friends. They are the ones teaching you all this. A bee’s known by the company it keeps,” shouts Bad. As things get heated up at the Bee Hive, Bad gets down to the judging business—It’s him against the bee gang! 

Face the book

Having lived in the day and age of letters, telegrams, landlines, pagers, and Nokia 1100, Bad’s been out of touch with virtual reality. Bad goes: It’s too much hate on your social media. Too much propaganda! Like look at this one— Right to Pee—an online campaign where activists demand better public toilets in Mumbai. Like the movie Toilet wasn’t enough!

While Funky Monkey laughs it off, the bee’s all for Right to Pee. “But Internet is not all that bad. Facebook’s CEO has been raising his voice in condemning attacks like the recent one in Charlottesville to protest against Trump administration’s travel ban on six Muslim-majority countries. Now, he’s posted a two-month paternity leave announcement on Facebook,” says the bee. Bad’s just far from being convinced. “You trust a man who Prime Minister Modi poses with! I like that,” says Bad. Funky Monkey is Bad’s new friend now. He’s even made Bad’s Facebook account with the “communism will win” Facebook frame on it. But Bad’s been mourning... and his first Facebook post is: RIP Jerry Lewis.

Tweet trail

On Twitter, Funky Monkey reads to Bad that he’s not the one who’s sad. “The 91-year-old left bee-hind a larger-than-life legacy as an actor, a comedian, and a philanthropist. His death’s gone viral. Many celebrities have tweeted too, if that’s any consolation,” says Funky Monkey.

Deana Martin@DeanaMartin

I'm heartbroken at the loss of our life-long friend (Uncle) Jerry Lewis. I've loved him all my life and will miss him greatly.

Deana Martin

Nancy Sinatra@NancySinatra

Dear Jerry

Dad will be as happy to see you as I'm sad to see you go. Give him one of your bear hugs for me. I'll always love you.

Jamie Lee 

Curtis@jamieleecurtis

Jerry Lewis loomed large in my family. Many movies with my mom & he made home movies with Janet and Tony. He made me and many laugh. #rip

As the two mourn, Bee hops in with Tathagata Satpathy’s tweet. He’s been particularly miffed about getting a letter from the Union Minister in Hindi and looks at it as a way of sideling regional languages and dialects. “What do we care? We just hum along!” laughs Bad!

Office of T Satpathy @SatpathyLive 

Why are Union Ministers forcing Hindi on non- Hindi speaking Indians? Is this an attack on other languages? -TS

Tube tales

Apart from a video of alleged scuffle between Indian, Chinese soldiers going viral, Dancakes’ Game of Thrones pancake art YouTube video, by Dan and Hank, is taking Internet by storm. “You can now eat Bran Stark, Ser Davos and Ramsay Bolton to Jon Snow! Even, the Night King!” laughs Monkey.

As Bad and Funky Monkey go for a walk around the jungle, they visit the Bee-Err Bar for refreshments. “It’s not all that bad. One Honeysuckle nectar for me, please!” Bad says!

amarjot@tribunemail.com