The touch of life

Amarjot Kaur

More than a month ago, Tahira Kashyap noticed her breast getting heavier; but that didn’t worry the author who recently directed a short film titled Toffee. After noticing a secretion, which was ‘somewhat abnormal’, Tahira, along with her husband, actor Ayushman Khurrana, visited a gynaecologist. “At 35, I couldn’t imagine getting breast cancer, especially when there was no trace of the disease in my family history. My husband and I went to a gynaecologist, unassumingly. I was asked to get an ultrasound done,” begins Tahira, who returned home after fighting a month-long battle with ‘stage 0’ breast cancer and enduring a six-hour long operation for mastectomy and reconstruction using tissues from her back.

It wasn’t panic, but a sense of urgency that dictated most of Tahira’s decisions related to the disease’s treatment. Tahira recalls, “The doctor had recommended a few scans and tests that detected high-grade DCIS (Ductal Carcinoma in situ); cancerous malignant cells were multiplying in a contained area. This is also called a precancerous or ‘stage 0’ breast cancer. In fact, the first time I was recommended a mammography, the radiologist turned me away, stating my young age and no family history of the disease. But my doctor insisted.”

With each ongoing test in a month’s time, Tahira had graduated from two per cent risk of contracting the disease to 95 per cent. “From under a two per cent chance of contracting breast cancer, I went up to a 30 per cent after mammography, then to a 70 per cent after an MRI and finally a 95 per cent, after getting the biopsy done,” she says.

A day before Ayushmann’s birthday, the doctor suggested the surgery and instead of heading back home in a low life state, the couple decided to watch Manmarziyaan. “That day, after meeting the doctor, Ayushman and I went for a movie date, instead of crying and sulking; we saw a movie. It was his birthday, the day after and I had even organised a small get-together for him.”

Warrior princess

While her Instagram post about dealing with breast cancer went viral, Ayushmann continues to express his constant concern and love for his “warrior princess”. “Though I remained particularly calm throughout the month, a sudden feeling of sorrow took over when the doctor advised me to undergo a surgery. Ayushman, who was sitting right next to me, probably guessed my state of mind. He said life is more important than anything. Hearing this from your partner is very comforting,” she says.

Tahira is into chants as well. She’s adopted Nicherin’s Buddhism and often attends prayer meetings. “I was chanting throughout and that gave me tremendous strength. Not just me, but I know so many fellow practitioners, friends and family members who made their mission to see me up and about. Unconditional love and support gives you the courage to fight. I really wish that every person enduring such an obstacle gets this kind of love and support,” she says.

On her way to recovering, there’s only one thing that bothers Tahira now. “It’s the taboo attached with mammography. It’s the taboo associated with touching yourself. It pains me to know that husbands don’t allow their wives to undergo mammography because they don’t like their women removing bras in front of technicians. That’s really sad,” she opines.

“Cancer can happen to anyone, so women must not blame themselves; it’s not their fault. I strongly suggest all women to touch themselves frequently and look for lumps; change in size or shape of their breast; if the doctor suggests mammogram, that too! And irrespective of anything we need to love ourselves immensely, completely, wholly!” she signs off.