The wind beneath their wings

Mona

The decision to be a mother is to have your heart forever walk around outside your body…goes the saying. Motherhood is one role that’s as daunting as rewarding. And, if you have a special child, well, you could imagine how ‘special’ you have to be to carve out a fulfilling life.

This Mother’s Day, we salute mothers who did not get demotivated by the humongous task of raising a special child but made most of the circumstances to make this world a happier place not only for their ward but everyone else around…

Never give up

Meenu, a simple homemaker, wished her son to achieve heights in life and when she got to know that her three-year-old was not normal, she did not compromise on her dreams but doubled her efforts.

Last year, 16-year-old Gaurav won a gold medal in skating in Special Olympics in the US. Beaming with pride, Meenu shares, “When I got to know that my son suffers from intellectual developmental disability, I kept faith. God had sent him to me and he would show me the way.” She ensured that Gaurav went to a special school and acknowledging his fondness for skating, made sure that he got best of training.

I believe: In my experience I have learnt that you have to be more loving with special children. Scold them and they might hit you back, keep patience, keep loving.

Accepting reality

Six-year-old Abineet completes Monaliza’s life. A single mum, raising an autistic kid, suggestions fly from every corner to get him admitted to a home for such children, but this nursing lecturer in PGI isn’t ready to hang up her boots.

“What’s his fault,” she asks. Mildly autistic, Abineet could do well if put in a mainstream school but no institution in her area, Kharar, showed interest. “Never mind,” she says, “he needs extra special attention that I am going to make sure he gets,” says the mum who attends each session of Abineet’s therapy with unmatched zest.

I believe: Accepting the reality is the only battle that you have to win. Since I am a medico, I made peace with situation pretty fast. Rest, it’s like any mother who wants and provides the best for her kid.

Patience is the virtue

A practitioner of Budhism, Sangeeta Jain believes we all come to this life with a purpose. Through her son Suvrat, she has learnt to be more patient, to enjoy simple pleasures life has to offer.

“Raising Suvrat taught me to become a better mother to my daughter Shreya too.” This autistic boy also made this mum in joint business family come out of the house and pursue a career. Coordinator at Society for Rehabilitation of Mentally Challenged (SOREM), Sangeeta has learnt to live in the present.”

I believe: It’s all about attitude shift. Believe that your special child is not a cause of suffering but learning.

You got to live 

I would first say, ‘don’t blame yourself’ and then extend the thought a bit and say “don’t punish yourself’. Just because you have a special child you do not (repeat, NOT) have to give up on the good things of life, on adventure, enjoyment and the company of friends. Keeping in view your added responsibility, find time, make time, reorganize your life in such a way as to include all that you love. Remember, if you are happy, you will exude your positive feelings that will reach out to your child. Raju, my special child, was mine for 37 years, that is, most of my adult life. He made me what I am, taught me to love and care and be human. He is no longer in this world but he remains a part of me, mine forever.

Manju Jaidka, academician, author

mona@tribunemail.com