‘You are the reason for my smile’

Divya Dutta

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I had tears in my eyes reading those reviews. Never in my life have I seen people write poetic reviews, absorbing and cherishing each moment they see on screen and how amazingly sensitively they express it. Thanks to social media, the world has become so small that all that’s written for you comes your way. Music Teacher, the Netflix film garnered lots of praise. One consistent line in all of them was—“Divya, you make a role special.”

Isn’t that bigger than any life time achievement awards? I just look back at my journey and wonder how life and ma got me to be what I wanted to be. Inspite of circumstances not being favourable.

It’s not easy being an actor. It looks glamorous. But there’s obviously a lot of mehnat. But more than that what’s needed here is the mental strength and strong will, along with talent of course. 

First of all, especially if you are an outsider, it takes a while to find a foothold. The right one at that. It’s easy to slip, lose your way or be misguided. If you cross that hurdle, and get your first break, you can obviously not think you have arrived. It’s a constant battle. You may be lauded, appreciated but then you have to dig a new well to have your share of water everyday. If your film or web or television series has been a hit, then of course there will be work coming your way. But there is the catch—the industry loves to give you an image and stereotype you. That’s one battle I fought with a vengeance. The moment I felt I was being stereotyped, I stopped and took a total different route. Mind you, it’s very tough to do that. To say no to biggies, big films, money, work and wait for that something that gives you creative joy. It can be disorienting to wait , to work towards what you want, to make people believe you are much more than your last film, and to make them see you differently. All this requires patience. And you need the belief that you are on the right track.

The trick is to use that free time for your personal growth. Working on yourself, your looks, your craft. Until you find what your heart jumps to do, and you get busy again.

In our industry you either are busy 24/7 or have big breaks. It’s not easy to strike a balance. One life is where you are jumping from one set to the other, travelling crazy, attending events, attending parties and then the other life is taking that break from all this frenzy to rediscover, reinvent, and present a new you to the world.

Of course, it’s very interesting. The stakes are so worth it. Life is always adventurous. And there always is a smile on the faces. For the audience, for the paparazzi. Whatever may be going on inside you, one may sometimes be in a low mood, hide the eyes with the glamorous glasses but the smile is always there as the show here always goes on...

In the midst of it all to be able to make the right choices, to take those small breaks to find the roles that make my heart jump and get back to it with a vengeance and to get the reviews where my audience says, ‘when you are in a film, we go watch it because we love your choice of roles and how you portray them’, I do feel I am doing something right. I do feel it’s all so worth it. I do feel I totally love my work. I have no idea what I’d have been if not an actor because I love being an actor. With all its perks and crazy adventurous rides! And yes, thank you for all the love and for believing in me. You are one reason why my smiles reach up my eyes, always.

(Dutta is a Bollywood actress)