Empathy, patience — virtues for developing healthy bond
Trust and faith are the ingredients of a good relationship, but human bonds these days lack these qualities and are self-centered. People are duping and killing their loved ones for money. Patience, compromise, and adjustments are the virtues by which people can develop healthy relationships.
Sharan
Meditate to control anger
Incidents of murder and robbery spread negativity in society and people develop trust issues towards their near and dear ones. We cannot stop the spread of bad news, but we can strengthen our minds to overcome such incidents of crime. The first and foremost step has to be one-to-one communication. We need to share our feelings with our loved ones regularly and should try to understand their psyche. We should try to look for signs of aggression and notice any unusual behaviour. We should accept a person as he/she is and stop making comparisons. We should not keep grudges against anyone and should learn to adjust and move on in life. In addition, we should adopt a healthy lifestyle and indulge in meditation to de-stress ourselves and control anger. We should try to keep a good company and learn to forgive others. In this way, we can make the world a better place to live.
Deepak Nagpal, Model Town Extention, Ludhiana
Transform materialistic thinking among people
Efforts should be made to change the mindset of the youth which is increasingly becoming self-centered and selfish. Materialism has captured their mind. They value things and money over family. This is the reason for murders of family members for property and money. Home is the institution and parents are the best teachers. The habit of respecting the kin should be inculcated in the kids. Kids should be told about the value of relationships. Tolerance, patience, understanding and empathy can make families happier.
Roop Kaur
Develop trust and faith
People are killing their loved ones because of misunderstandings or lack of faith and trust. We need to be trustful towards our relatives and friends. The relationships can be made stronger by mutual respect, honesty and kindness. Relationship must be full of empathy.
Manpriya Kaur
Teach empathy to children
Crime has been a part of every social system known to the human community since its origin. Every other day, we hear news about mass suicides or mass murders. The causes behind these acts are varied such as inability to pay back debts, inability to achieve higher standard of living, extra marital affairs, etc. But suicides and murders are not the solution to the problem. Family support is an effective tool to prevent such unpleasant incidents. Children nowadays are impatient so parents should have healthy communication with them. Parents should develop a conscience by being attuned to them, by not being violent towards or in front of them, providing a secure and safe place for them, etc. Parents should develop empathy in the child. The child should feel compassion and sympathy, while understanding what it really means to hurt someone. Never give children silent treatment. Give proper time and attention to them. Avoid harsh punishment and build confidence in the child.
Dr Jasdeep Kaur
Create awareness among youth
Violence against loved ones is a rampant problem as people have lost faith in each other and this has resulted in the loss of trusts. People have become more aggressive and do not hesitate in taking harsh steps even towards their loved ones. They have developed this attitude due to the influence from the western society. Social media, TV and western literature have added to the nursing of such behaviour. The use of mobile phones has added to this trend. Every member in the family is engrossed with his/her mobile phone and do not find time to sit together and discuss issues of mutual trust and benefit. There is an urgent need to teach every one about our ancient way of life which stresses upon respect for elders and appreciation for each other. Awareness programmes must be organised for the youth and they should be guided in right direction by elders at home and by religious leaders. Discussing issues will help develop mutual faith and trust.
Dr G Dev, Kitchlu Nagar
Moral lectures in schools
Newspaper headlines such as “a son murdered his father; a woman brutally killed her son” have become the order of the day. The onus of building trust and faith in relationships lies on parents and teachers. Nowadays, both parents are usually working and barely have time to spend with their kids. They are running in a rat race for money. In my opinion, spending one quality hour with kids is must for every parent. The trend of nuclear families is another reason for deteriorating relations. Joint family system teaches people to share and adjust. Nuclear families hardly have dinner or lunch together. Sharing the food table, members of a family can discuss the day’s events and it also gives them a chance to vent out their frustration, if any. In schools, teachers should deliver short lectures on moral education. Parents and teachers should bring revolutionary changes in the behaviour of kids. In this way, we can make the Earth a peaceful place to live.
Bir Devinder Singh Bedi
Impose a ban on social media
The increasing rate of murders in the city has become a matter of concern as loss of self control and an instrumental desire to have sex, money and power has occupied a permanent place in society. Bite-sized world of social media is a cause of unsubstantial personal relationships. The social media plays an important role in the loss of faith of people in relationships. Besides this, inequality, disappointment, frustration, anger, poverty, austerity and infidelity, etc., are factors responsible for a person to act on violent impulses and commit crimes such as murders. Zero-tolerance policy needs be adopted by the city police against contract killers. In addition to this, the police should switch their attention to the security of people. A complete ban should be there on the social media and illegal possession of weapons should be checked. Steps should be taken to amend laws against intruders and murderers. As far as trust is concerned, one should know that it is an essential instrument to build a healthy relationship. When a breach in trust occurs, it can cause anyone’s world to shatter. In the world of uncertainties, building trust is an uphill task. However, one should try to be patient and flexible; he/she should be tolerant of mistakes and shouldn’t be an inflexible judge. Secondly, one should be loyal and consequent to his/her words. Thirdly, don’t make up excuses and take responsibility for your own mistakes. Don’t be afraid of apologising. Last but not the least, one should be very consistent, open and transparent in communication with respect and sensitivity as it will help to diffuse possible mistrustful perceptions. There is no doubt that life seems difficult nowadays, but one should hold on tightly to that iron rod of truth.
RAVI CHANDER GARG
Need for changes in education system
We are living in the age of information and technology. There is a transition in our culture, thinking and way of life. Everyone wants to live a life of his choice without any interference. Neither parents have time for their children nor do children have time for their elders. In some cases, children are misguided due to Internet. This leads to anxiety in their minds. Sometimes, the greed for money, drugs, lust, demonstration, gambling and property become the cause of clashes and murders. So to avoid such heinous crimes, parents and teacher must educate children and keep them away from violent activities. Parents and teachers should spend maximum time in the company of children. Right education at right time may work in the right direction in the present and in future. Only then we can expect a civilized and cultured society. Government should create and generate more sources and avenues of jobs and work for coming generation. There is a need to change the present education system as it is not pragmatic. Entertainment sources such as movies should try to create awareness about value system. The Government should put in more efforts to deal with drugs addiction among the youth. Dispute redressal societies at ward-level should be created to avoid any clashes.
Dr Mohd Saleem Farooqui
Give without expectations
Every relationship demands trust, space, faith and understanding. It demands selflessness. The more you are open about your thoughts and your views, the more genuine a relationship becomes. People nowadays fake themselves to establish relationships or to continue them because we look for our profit and benefits from other people. We put our expectations before love and affection and when our needs are not fulfilled, we detach ourselves or become impatient. Impatience leads to anger which results in mental breakdown. This is harmful as aggressiveness can make a man do commit crimes such as murder or suicide. In order to establish an authentic relationship, patience is must. Learn to say no and make the other person understand your point of view. A relationship works if it is all about giving without expecting anything in return. Keep your relationships pure and pious and never lie so that trust and faith sustain forever.
Harshpreet Kaur Suri
Madness called Money
Humans are lost in madness called money,
With an empty wallet, there’s no sweetheart or honey.
Barter was good, had no shelf life,
Currency has changed the very perception of life.
The pursuit is endless and lust unending,
Greed is palpable in the rush for dreams,
The digit in accounts is important, above all!
Ferraris, Mercs and BMWs are the order of the day,
Loved ones can go and find their own way,
Each relationship is measured in bucks,
There’s no time for losers or sitting ducks.
The race to get money is endless and fierce,
Values, compassion and love are of no consequence.
God made humans, humans made money,
Without money, there is no sweetheart or honey,
I am a loner in my thoughts and deeds,
Standing on a river bank, flowing with greed,
The coffin does not have pockets and heaven any account,
Grab each minute to do a good deed,
Before the life dumps you as listless heap...
Major Gurdeep S Samra (Retd)
