The Lion King stood before a restless crowd of roaring lions rallying for the cause of lionism, seemingly threatened an overrun numerically by faster reproducing animals like rats, rabbits.
As the King rose to speak, a clamour of voices demanded more cubs per family, the figure oscillating from four to forty.
The King waved to the crowd and clearing his throat said, “So, be it, The slogan for our campaign is, “From Loins — to Lions f”r Lionism”,
‘Hail Loins, Err.. Lions”, roared the crowd.
Psst! Psst! said the fox trying to distract the King, who looked back angrily and said, “Don't interrupt. History is being created to restore glory of Lionism. We will not let rats succeed.”
“Are we eulogizing ‘loinism’ or ‘lionism’ and what about the Lioness, her health would suffer if she produces more cubs?”
“Lioness? We are talking of ‘Lionism’ and not discussing ladies, shopping", the King snubbed the fox, even as he signalled dispersal of the crowd, which obeyed.
The King turned to the fox reprimanding her, for her insolent interruption and asked her the reason, to which the fox replied.
“You cannot take unilateral decisions in matters of procreation, which is a twosome affair with its genesis in love and cupidity. You made it look crass, vulgar and mechanical like an industrial production house. The lioness, an equal partner in the process, will not appreciate this”.
While the King was in parleys with the fox, the petrified rats and rabbits, in mortal fear for themselves, briefed the lioness about the whole affair, as she waited for the King to return.
As he did, she stopped licking her well-manicured paws and muttered under her breath, “These males can't think beyond ‘pubs’ and ‘cubs’. I am not finished with the previous litter and he has come for more — who is going to feed all these mouths?”
The King always developed jelly legs on approaching his lady and sensing her mood, he grunted gently, but his overture was met with a snarl forcing him to retreat quickly.
From a distance he said, “The ‘loins’, Ahem ! I mean the lions have decided each family to have more cubs and so ...”
“So?” retorted the lioness.
“Err ! nothing, Umm ! Just informing you”, mumbled the king.
“Scram, before I scratch your face”, growled the lioness.
Swallowing his pride, he went back to the venue of the rally and to his surprise found a whole lot of sulking lions, some with scratched faces.
The fox sensed what had happened and told the King, “See, I warned you, don't defile the beauty of procreation which flows from love. Your outrageous approach shows your shallow understanding of ‘lionism’ which rests on a wonderful and indefeasible philosophy of life, weathering many a storm over centuries and none as fickle as the threat of rats and rabbits. Danger to it lurks from bigotry within and not outside. So go in peace. Assuage the feelings of your hurt ‘loins’, err, I mean lions and strive to bring glory to ‘lionism’ and not ‘loinism’.”
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