Of red beacons & ordinary mortals

Col IPS Kohli

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Hai o rabba teriyaan be parvaaiyaan. Bande maran bhukhe te khote khaan malaiyaan (Strange are your ways, Oh God. While You are benevolent towards the undeserving, many deserving and in need of benevolence go hungry and uncared).

I wish I had had the authority to fix my pay, allowances, pension and last but not the least unbridled perks.  Besides early retirement, a nomadic life, promotions few and far between and a constant threat to life and limb, post-retirement I go around telling, I and my ilk don’t get the honestly earned pension we ask for. Somebody tinkered with its nuts and bolts. Numerous ‘wordsmiths’ promised an elusive redemption.
 The latest in the quest for power and pelf is a news item that the hon'ble members of Parliament are contemplating a 75 per cent hike in their own pension. Even if a worthy has served for just one day! It took 20 years to earn my pension. In these 20 years there was not one paid ‘foreign junket’. My frequent junkets were to places unheard of by people at large.
A Supreme Court ruling fixed the festering nuisance of red-beacon flashing motorcades with gun-toting goons in tow. Petty functionaries like a patwari or a joker from the mofussil capable of delivering three and a half votes portrayed a macho image with ‘sinecures’ emblazoned on their vehicles. A pecking order was annexed to the ruling. The sum total of which was that all Indians are equal but some are more equal than the others. A privileged few could continue the flashing of red beacons atop their cars. Lesser mortals like you and me will have to make way for them.
To assuage the enraged ‘Red Bulls’, yellow, red (without a flasher) and blue colors were assigned.
I was admitted to a hospital. It was past 8 and the hospital unusually quiet. I looked outside and saw the entire road leading to the hospital blocked by the police. A nurse pushed me back into the room and said, “Please don't get out of your bed, sir. A minister's associate was thrashed by somebody from the Opposition. He is comatose. The minister is expected to visit the hospital soon. The hospital functioning, including emergency services, is at a standstill”. The door of my room flung open and three policemen, two carrying AK-47 rifles, with trousers splitting at the seams and the third cop with a yelping sniffer dog on a leash entered the room. The two carrying AKs stood panting foolishly. The sniffer dog went around the room sniffing betadine and assorted hospital tincture. The all clear was sounded.  Unable to spare time, ‘His Exalted Highness’ postponed the visit. We lived to see the circus once again. To hell with patients and their suffering. Uhna da rab raakha.