Winning over my neighbour
Subhash C. Sharma
One can choose friends but not neighbours. Indeed it is the fortunate few who are blessed with a benign, amiable neighbourhood. Even if you have an unfriendly or hostile neighbour, is the situation hopelessly irredeemable? Perhaps not.
We have had a frosty relationship with one of our (once friendly) neighbours. The primary cause of our festering hostility and protracted ‘no-speak’ was a few trees. They had a big “tunhee” tree in their backyard which blocked our front view and the much-needed sunlight in the chilly winters of hills. A few more trees planted by them at the very margin of the boundary intruded into our space, further compounding our misery. Of course, we had our own old “tunhee” tree too with a couple of its branches arching over their property. But this tree was at the far end, and a fair distance away from their house. Besides, it didn't obstruct their view or sunlight. The only problem it caused according to their own admission was the leaf fall in the autumn. We both looked at each other with suspicion and nursed mutual grouse over the years. Any initiative to resolve the issue ended up in a war of words and acrimony as false and well-fed egos and envies came in the way.
Hasn’t Shakespeare rightly said, “Our doubts are traitors,/ And make us lose the good we might oft win,/ By fearing to attempt”? So, brushing aside all my doubts and fears, this year as the winter approached spreading its cold grey wings, I decided to end this long-simmering discord once for all. Since no proper word-of-mouth communication looked feasible or possible, I wrote to the village Pradhan spelling out the problem, and sought his help in an amicable resolution of the dispute since he was friendly with both families. At first I was hesitant to put forth a formal written request but had to do so at the Pradhan's suggestion as well as my own doubts over the success of my well-intentioned, rancour-free mission without anything being put in black and white.
The two feuding neighbours appeared before the panchayat on the appointed day. The Pradhan read out my letter. Though it was a simple statement of facts without any accusation and exaggeration, I felt a little embarrassed for my neighbour's sake. Therefore to put my neighbour at ease and keep the tempers cool I at once said: “Before proceeding further, I want to make it clear that my letter may kindly be looked upon as a humble request to my neighbor, Mr Thakur, rather than a complaint.”
Thakur Saab, still carrying hard feelings of the past, reacted sharply, saying that it was nothing but a complaint which he said he resented. To this I replied with an exaggerated gesture and honest emotion that if indeed he thought so then I would express my sincere regrets, for such was not my intention. That said, the mood and stiff posture of my neighbour changed for the better. After brief deliberations and with mutual consent, it was resolved that we both would lop off our respective trees to each other's satisfaction. Above all, the whole proceedings took place in an atmosphere of cordiality and humour. As I thanked the Pradhan and others present, his parting words which pleased us all were: “Now both of you should invite each other for a feast.”
“Where you would be the guest of honour,” I chipped in.
As things stand now, the settlement process has been satisfactorily carried out and gradually we are warming up to each other. No doubt a feast too would happen soon.
