Do your colleagues hate you?

Aine Cain

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Haters are going to hate, right? In our personal lives, it is easier to dismiss people who don't like us. But at work, being widely disliked can pose a larger problem. Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert and the author of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job, said:  "Most co-workers won't overtly show their disdain for you so as not to cause trouble or jeopardise their own careers. They may make life difficult for you, but they'll probably try to stay under the radar. Still, there are subtle red flags that they're not out for your best interests."

You'll want to know those signs, says Ms Taylor, so you can spot them when they're present and turn things around before it's too late. "Of course, it is impossible to be liked by everyone in the office," she said. But you should always strive to be sensitive to the needs of your fellow co-workers, remain upbeat and friendly, communicate openly and give colleagues the benefit of the doubt.

Here are some subtle signs that your co-workers secretly hate you. But keep in mind that you may just be misreading their body language or tone — the workplace is certainly not immune to human misunderstanding and no one's a mind reader.

The gut feeling

If you feel like your co-workers don't like you, then it could just be in your head, but it could also be true. If they treat you differently than everyone else, then you're probably not their favourite person. Trust your gut and continue looking for other signs if you have a strong feeling about this.

They dont smile when you’re around

We're not talking about the occasional bad day or mood swing. If your co-workers make a conscious effort not to smile when you're in the room, then something isn't right.

They constantly stare at you

Alternatively, a prolonged, intense stare can also be a sign of rudeness, aggression or hostility, CNN reported. Whether or not someone avoids your gaze or gives you a hostile glare depends on their personality and whether or not they're comfortable with coming across as aggressive. Then again, it's possible that the starer is just awkward or zoning out.

They dont acknowledge your presence

If your colleagues don't say "good morning" when you arrive or "have a great night" on their way out, they may be telling you they don't like you, said Taylor.

They feed the rumour mill

This is childish and unprofessional behaviour, but it happens in workplaces all the time: someone doesn't like you, so they spread rumours.

They give off negative body language

Whether it's a subtle eye roll or constantly assuming a closed-off position with arms folded across their chest, or they don't look up from their computer screen when you enter their office, your co-workers' body language will often reveal their true feelings toward you,  Kerr said. 

No direct communication

If your co-workers don’t like you, they'll probably try to limit their in-person communication with you. If you notice a shift toward more digital correspondence, that's a sign.

They don’t include you in office bantering or humour

"Joking around is a key way that relationships become cemented in any workplace and not inviting you into the inner circle of bantering is a sign your co-workers may not feel comfortable around you enough to think of you as one of 'the team,'" said Kerr.

They try to encourage you to leave the company

If throwing you under the bus doesn't do the trick, then your co-workers may try other tactics for getting rid of you. If they start sending you job postings at other companies, offer to put you in touch with contacts elsewhere or tell you that they think you'd be "happier" or "more successful" in another environment - when you're perfectly happy and thriving where you are - then it's probably not because they're concerned about your well-being. Chances are, they just don't like you and want you gone.

They constantly disagree with you

Continuously gunning down your ideas is a sign they don't like you. "If it feels like someone shoots down every thought before you've even finished a sentence, then it's often because their dislike is so strong that they are biased against anything you suggest, even when it's a great idea," said  Kerr.

They cannot maintain eye contact with you

It is difficult to look someone straight in the eye when you do not like or respect them, says Taylor. If you notice that your colleagues avoid eye contact while speaking with you, then those are probably the reasons. "They're afraid that you may be able to detect hostility, so the path of least resistance is for them to look away or avoid being around you wherever possible," Taylor said.

They’re short with you

If you ask "how's it going?" and they always respond with "OK" or "fine" - or if their emails always get straight to the point and never begin with a friendly "hello" or "good afternoon" - then this may be a sign that they're not a huge fan of yours. "If they sound like a moody teenager, then that's a pretty big red flag," said Michael Kerr, an international business speaker and author of The Humor Advantage.

— Independent