Loving it, living it

Manali, the cross-cultural hub

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Bhanu P Lohumi in Manali

Nobody yet knows why it could, almost always, happen so magically, so profusely, in the grandeur of hills and valleys. Love happens. So much so that people often forget their nationality, and choose to live where their heart is. There are over a hundred of them in Kullu and Manali. Sub-divisional magistrates of these areas, who are also the marriage registrars, say more than 80 Himachalis have married foreigners since 2015, over 30 in Kullu and Kangra districts alone.

Mostly Indian boys have married Israeli, Japanese, German and French nationals. In Kangra a large number of Tibetans have married foreigners. 

Manish Kumar (Vicky) is one of them. The Old Manali boy married Carole Monnet of France in 2007. They talk in English, live in Manali, Goa and France. 

It all began in 2006. “My business season was over in Goa and I was returning home while she was willing to visit South India,” Manish recalls. At the last moment, but like a typical Hindi movie, she changed her mind and travelled with me to Delhi without ticket. My parents were a little apprehensive, but all went well.” 

She left for France after her visa expired and returned to India with all documents to take me along, but the embassy did not grant him a visa. “We have a daughter who is now two-a-half years old.

The couple is enjoying both the worlds, staying six months in India (Goa) and six months in France and visiting Manali in between regularly. “Nothing has changed for us,” says Manish. “We have a very rich culture and traditions while France is at least 50 years ahead of us in economic progress. My wife is full of confidence and courage to face the world.”

That was to love. The living part is a bit complicated for others. SDM Manali Jyoti Rana says whenever such couples come to me for registration, she ask them the reason for marriage. “Their stock reply is love. Foreign girls always cite Indian culture and a peaceful life in the hills.” Local residents say that Manali being infamous for cannabis, many foreigners visit the place and interior areas for dope. As per police records, as many as 18 foreigners have been reported missing in the Manali area in the last few years. State police chief Sanjay Kumar doesn’t discount the possibility of contract marriage, an illegal way for gaining entry into a foreign country. Such marriages are only on paper and result in a ‘divorce’ after Indian boys get a legal permission because of the ‘on paper marriage’.

Kazakh girl is Haryanvi bahu

Sushil Manav in Chandigarh

“I love you Teenu very very much” reads Zhanna’s WhatsApp status. Zhanna is a girl from Kazakhstan and Teenu is her husband from Haryana. Their Facebook friendship blossomed into love and when eight months later, Zhanna told him she was ready to marry him, Teenu said she would have to come to India it. She agreed.

So, on May 29, Zhanna Timurovna Chalabayeva (34) travelled over 3,200 km, from Kazakhstan to Samain village in Fatehabad. On June 2, she tied the knot with Teenu Jangra (23) in Vishwakarma temple at Tohana.

“I am very happy living with Teenu and his family in the village. Teenu is a caring husband. I cook, clean the house, wash clothes and even work in the fields,” says Zhanna.

“She has come all the way from Kazakhstan, leaving her family and career behind. I have to ensure she does not face any problem,” he says. “Teenu doesn’t have any problem if I celebrate Christmas or other festivals,” says Zhanna. While love transcends the barrier of language, how does Zhanna communicate with Teenu’s family members and other locals? She says she manages with a few basic Hindi and English words. “In case of a problem, I turn to Google Translate,” she says with a smile.

Zhanna is a linguist and a law graduate. She knows six languages, including English, French, Persian, Russian and Kazakh. She also boasts of a translator’s diploma. She hopes to get work in some Russian company in Delhi since there is not much scope for a career in the village. “Though a private school from Tohana town has approached me to teach English and French, I would like to live with my husband in Delhi,” she says.

Teenu is an ITI certificate holder in welding. He has worked in Saudi Arabia in a construction firm and will have to scout for a job.

Can a love story be without a villain? In their case, it is Zhanna’s tourist visa which is valid till July 31. The Haryana bahu has been promised help. Reading about Zhanna’s problem on social media posted by Teenu’s friend, External Affairs Minister Sushma Swaraj had tweeted to say the government would help. 

She remembers her roots in Belarus

Ravi Dhaliwal in Gurdaspur

When kindergarten teacher Irina Lenodovna Semutnik (44) walks the streets of backward Gurdaspur, everone knows she is one of them.

Two decades after tying the knot with a government physician, Dr Raj Masih, she has become fully ‘Indianised’ and has adapted to the country’s language and culture. Yet, she remembers her roots in Belarus (Eastern Europe), where she was born, did her degree in pharmacy and later, in 1994, got married to a student doing his MBBS in the same college. That’s probably why she does not give up her Belarus passport which she calls as “the only thread that links me to home.” Mother of three -- a daughter (Jeniffer) and two sons (Sumit and Nikit) -- Irina arrived in Gurdaspur in 1994. Before marriage, her father, a doctor, had asked her to think twice if she really wanted to marry an Indian. “I did not have to think twice. The day I met Raj, I decided to marry him,” said Irina.

She had to encounter a cultural shock when she arrived in India. The language barrier, though, was broken within a year after she studied Punjabi books meant for children. She quickly picked up intricacies of the language. She speaks Punjabi as good as anybody in the town. “I even know songs and can even sing some of them,” says Irina in chaste Punjabi.

“Despite the internet and Whatsapp, I still miss my family. Both my parents are renowned doctors and even my younger sister, Elana, is a psychologist. Sometimes there is this yearning to go home to meet my family members,” she said.

“It is amazing how people here can go to a friend’s home without any appointment. In Belarus, you are required to call your hosts before going to their homes. The day I landed in this country I decided to change my goals. I told myself that there are two things I must take care of. One was the language and the other was to set the house in order.” 

She complimented her adopted country: “People in India use their intuition more often. And, honestly, their intuition is far more developed than the rest of the world. Intuition is more powerful than intellect.”

Age no bar for señora Laurita

Gagan K. Teja in Patiala 

Laurita and Jasjot can tell you what it means to be average yet loving. While advocate Jasjot Singh (28) is from Patiala, Laurita Gonzalez (48) is from Puerto Rico. Having met through Facebook in 2013, the couple tied the knot in May, 2014 and Laurita since then has been living in India. Though she travels to Puerto Rico every three-four months for a few days to make arrangements for her family back home and take care of her business, she is in the process of shifting to India. 

Laurita was always fascinated by India but she did not have anyone in the country to count on. One day Jasjot’s picture popped up as a suggestion on FB. Without thinking much, she sent him a friend request and that’s how their story began. They starting chatting for hours. 

At that time, Laurita was in a phase of mourning as she lost her sister to cancer. Jasjot would keep telling her about Sikhism and urged Laurita to visit Golden Temple in Amritsar for inner peace and pay tribute to her sister. Laurita came to India in August 2013.

“When he came to pick me at the airport, I was taken aback since he was so young. However, we spent some really good time visiting different gurdwaras in Amritsar, Tarn Taran and nearby areas. By the end of my 21-day trip, we were madly in love with each other. I went back but decided to return,” says Laurita. 

The duo then continued chatting for few more months and finally Laurita returned to India in January, 2014 and the couple tied the knot four months later. The couple says they had to face a lot of opposition initially from Jasjot’s family due to their age gap but Jasjot stood by her.

Laurita says initially people keep questioning us whether ours is a true relationship. “I don’t understand how these people doubt our love when they themselves don’t marry unless their partner is economically well off. Isn’t that a marriage of convenience where you are more concerned about financial stability? We are going to stay together. Many people have accepted us and we are very happy about it,” she said.